FIFTY SHADES BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL
by Trixiesmom2u
Summary: With Taylor by her side, Ana tries to survive the disappearance of Charlie Tango. As the weeks roll by, Ana struggles with the will to live.
1. Chapter 1

The security alarm woke Taylor quickly. He jumped out of bed and silenced it. The alarm was for the terrace doors in Ana's room. He brought up the security camera as his heart pounded with dread. As soon as he saw her he yelled "Fuck!" and ran.

Out in the hallway he pounded on Sawyers door and yelled, "Code Red, get Flynn!" Taylor jerked open the master bedroom door but approached the terrace cautiously, unsure exactly what he would say or do. He watched her carefully for a moment. She was dressed only in one of her husbands white undershirts. She was bent over the terrace railing, staring at the ground so very far below. Her right hand held a revolver. Suddenly she turned to face him. "Taylor! You shouldn't be here. I'm fine. Go back to bed."

Taylor looked at her and wondered had she forgotten she was holding a gun? Not saying a word, he stepped out on the terrace. Christ, it was fucking cold. Barefoot and wearing only boxers, he felt the sharp bite of the night air. A cold gust of wind blew across his body blanketing him in goosebumps and forcing him to say aloud, "Fuck, it's cold!" Ana didn't answer. He tried to take a step closer but she simply said. "Stop!" without even turning. "You said you were fine. We both know that isn't true. You haven't been fine in almost seven months, since Charlie Tango disappeared from radar."

"Taylor!" Her voice warned. "

"Ana, please. Please talk to me."

"And say what? In less than forty eight hours, I will lose GEH. I wagered and I lost."

"Schneiderman hasn't given up. If anything the search has intensified. He gestured with his hand towards her, "This isn't about GEH though, is it? This is all about you, you and Christian."

"Stop!" She demanded in a tearful voice. Then her control abruptly slipped and her body was wracked with sobs as she fell to her knees crying uncontrollably.

Taylor quickly knelt beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "You're strong, Ana. Have faith. It's going to be okay," he promised.

"It's not Taylor. I can't do it anymore. I just can't." She sobbed. "I tried, I really tried but without him I can't. I can't go on. It hurts so much. I can't!" Clinging to Taylor, she gave up any attempt to control her emotions and cried loudly cursing everyone she ever knew including Christian for leaving her. Taylor sat and held her in his strong arms as tears rolled down his cheeks. He wished he could take her pain away but that really wasn't possible. All he could do was be there for her. He knew how she felt; he felt the same pain every day. At least wrapped in his arms they would both feel a little warmer and they weren't alone. Ana climbed into his lap and cried into his shoulder for a long time. The cold and the dark a welcome friend. Finally, from the corner of his eye, he saw movement and noticed Sawyer and Christians shrink, Flynn. Thank fuck. He kissed the top of Ana's head and kept whispering small words of comfort to her.

Inside, Sawyer confessed his concern to Flynn. "Doc I'm worried. Neither one of them are acting right. Taylor should have hauled her ass in here a long time ago. He hasn't even tried to disarm her. I tried to go out there and she fucking pointed the gun at me and said 'sorry , Luke. This is a private party.' Fuck, Flynn. We don't know what the fuck to do."

"Luke, do you think Taylor would allow Ana to hurt herself?"

"Not normally, but sometimes...I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's missing him more. They both hurt so much and neither one will admit he's dead."

"Thank you, Luke. I think I will try a little unconventional therapy. Can you get me three cups of hot tea? Make that very hot tea !" And with that Flynn started peeling off his clothes. He placed his folded clothes in a corner on top of his shoes, accepted a tray from Sawyer with three steaming mugs, looked at a Sawyer and said simply, "Wish me luck!"

Taylor looked up to see the terrace doors opening once more, this time revealing Flynn wearing only his boxers and white undershirt and carrying a tray with 3 hot cups of tea. Ana started to bring her gun up, then wavered and let it fall to her side. Flynn squatted down on the cold cement and promptly swore, "Cor, it's bloody cold!" Ana almost smiled. Almost. Flynn offered a cup to both of them, noting Taylor's protective body language as his grip on Ana tightened ever so slightly. Trying his best to look to at ease he couldn't help but wonder, like Sawyer, why Taylor hadn't brought her inside but more importantly why hadn't he disarmed her? Shit. He understood why Ana was suicidal. Anyone would. But what was up with Taylor?

"I don't suppose either of you would like to continue this inside?" He asked innocently. Ana shook her head no. "No harm in asking, speaking of which, are you thinking of harming yourself Ana?" Taylor noticibly tightened his embrace of Ana, drawing her body closer to his. Flynn observed, saying nothing. Ana looked down, refusing to meet Flynn's eyes and declining to answer. Flynn then directed his gaze to Taylor, who met his eyes full on. "Perhaps I should be directing my questions to you, Taylor."

Taylor tried to school his emotions, to get the blank look on his face but he knew he hadn't succeeded. He could feel his nostrils flare and his face flush with anger yet for the life of him he didn't know why and his bewilderment over that showed on his face too.

"So Taylor," Flynn continued, " Perhaps you can explain why we are all sitting on this bloody ice cold cement in fucking 48 degrees Fahrenheit in our bloody boxers having a tea party?"

"Ana woke up and needed fresh air. I joined her."

"Do you commonly join her dressed like that?" Flynn asked as he took a long sip of tea. Taylor didn't answer.

"How did it make you feel to see her out here, barely dressed and holding a gun? She is still holding the same gun I might point out." Taylor stayed silent, but his hands had curled into fists.

"Ana, why do you think Taylor hasn't taken your gun away?"

"He understands, Flynn. He just understands."

Flynn looked at both of them and started speaking again. "The three of us here knew Christian better than anyone. We each saw sides of him no one else ever saw. Ana, how would Christian feel if he knew you wanted to harm yourself?"

Ana looked away, refusing to answer, her arms were clutching Taylor the way a drowning man clutches a life saver. Flynn said nothing and decided to let the silence grow, and grow it did. Flynn glanced at his watch, noting the time 3:45 AM. He'd been here for what, almost half an hour and nothing had been accomplished. That wasn't entirely true. Flynn was sure his balls were frozen solid. There was a good chance his wife might never have to worry about birth control again. Flynn rubbed his hands up and down his arms in an effort to warm up. He normally welcomed long silences in a session as they usually ended up very therapeutic, but at the rate this session was unraveling, there would be no break through just frost bite. Still, he wanted to give it one more try.

"Ana. Do you believe Christian is alive?"

She looked at him for a long time. "I know what they say, all the experts, almost everyone, really. If he was alive he would have turned up by now. I don't know where he is or how hurt he is but I know, I know deep inside my soul that he is alive. If he was dead, I would know. It's that simple really."

"Taylor, same question."

"Same answer. I don't have the connection he had with Ana but Christian and I, we spent most of our waking hours together. I knew what he was thinking before he said it. He understood me. I feel like I would know if he was dead." Taylor looked down and paused then said softly, "I still hear him calling me all the time. It's so real, I can't ..." And then he stopped as tears just kept washing down his face.

"In my dreams I hear him call you too. He sounds so desperate, so frightened."

Flynn nodded but secretly his heart fell. For these two to be so firm in their denial at this late stage was disconcerting, to say the least. It had been almost seven months and for either Christian to have survived this long with no supplies would take a major miracle from God and an Act of Congress. Neither one was even a remote consideration. So slowly and awkwardly Flynn stood and stumbled inside where he promptly slid to the carpeted floor and leaned his back against the side of the bed. Sawyer tossed him a blanket as well as his clothes. Flynn could see Sawyer had questions but reluctantly chose not to ask them. Good thing, because Flynn had lots of questions too but he didn't have any answers.

He watched through the sliding glass doors as Taylor moved Ana out of his lap and slowly stood. Then he reached down and picked up Ana and held her in his arms. Curiously, the gun remained on the terrace floor. Taylor leaned down and spoke to Ana and then kissed her forehead. Then he walked to the railing with her in his arms and started talking again. Flynn watched in horror. He never should have left them alone. His heart started to race while he wondered if Taylor would grant her wish and just drop over the railing. He stared in shock, paralyzed with fear, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do now but watch and trust Taylor. Then Ana screamed and started pounding her fists against the rugged body guard and Taylor turned away and brought her inside, dropping her gently on the bed and fixing the covers around her. Flynn closed his eyes in relief and tried to calm his racing heart. Once Ana was settled, Taylor slowly slid to the floor opposite Flynn.

Sawyer grabbed the gun off the terrace floor, stuck it in the waistband of his pajamas and locked the terrace door. Then he left to join Ryan in the doorway. Ryan, who was standing in the doorway dress in just a pair of sweat pants muttered softly to Sawyer, "T's lucky the boss is dead or his sorry ass would be laying on the sidewalk in front of Escala."

Without warning Taylor leaped to his feet, yelling "What did you just fucking say? You little motherfucking piece of shit! He is not fucking dead! What did I fucking tell you?" Taylor then slammed his fist into Ryan's face, then grabbed him by the shoulders and just started slamming his head into the wall screaming at him all the while. It was Sawyer who was finally able to pull him away as Ryan just sagged to the floor. Then Taylor just started slamming his fist into the wall, over and over again until Ana came and put her arms around him and he just started to sob into her hair. Ryan stumbled to his feet, wiped the blood from his face with back of his hand, took a long hard look at Taylor and just stood there , shaking his head in disbelief.

Flynn scrambled for his leather jacket and reached for the inside pocket pulling out a rectangular black case. He opened it and knowing all of Christian's security people had EMT training he showed it to Sawyer. "If I do one, can you do the other?" Sawyer nodded yes. "Do Ana. I'll take Taylor." Flynn directed. Quickly he handed Sawyer the pre filled plastic syringe to sedate Ana. Flynn smiled confidently, certain that he could manage Taylor. Ana felt the prick of the needle and her eyes rolled back as she slid unconscious into Sawyers arms. Taylor however was another story. Even with Sawyers help, it took two full syringes of Thorazine to get the struggling Taylor fully sedated. Both Sawyer and Flynn now sported black eyes. Ryan and Sawyer started to carry him to his quarters with Gail, but Flynn requested they leave him on the sofa in the Great Room. Gail was terribly upset. Flynn wanted to talk with her but she just stormed off back to her quarters. Flynn looked down at Taylor helplessly. He thought of Ana and all the pain these two were going through. He sighed heavily. He grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed. Then he called his wife and explained how critical the situation here was and he wouldn't be returning home anytime soon. He asked her to have all his appointments for the next two days cancelled.


	2. Chapter 2

Ana woke slowly with a blinding headache and a mouth that felt like it was full of cotton. She looked at the alarm clock on her nightstand and watched the date and time flash alternately. Today was the day she had been dreading. At midnight Leonard Schneiderman would take over GEH and Ana had agreed not to fight it. In return Schneiderman had agreed to diligently search for Charley Tango and Christian. If he found proof of Christian's death, he would own GEH for the princely sum of one dollar. If he couldn't find proof, he would take over and Ana wouldn't fight. She remembered the day she met with him. It seemed like yesterday. Could it really have been four months ago?

Ana closed her eyes as she recalled everything that happened that day. She had stepped off the elevator with Taylor beside her, one step behind. Sawyer had already exited the elevator and given them the all clear. She had walked crisply to Christian's office, acknowledging Andrea with a curt nod. Ana opened the door to the office slowly, hoping against hope that today would be different; that he would be there, behind his desk waiting for her with a stupid smirk, apologizing for his absence. Disappointment stabbed her broken heart when she saw his chair still empty. It had been three months since Charlie Tango went missing. Three long months without a trace of Christian's helicopter turning up. No wreckage, no body, just the unending pain of having half of her soul torn away. In the beginning there had been all kinds of support. The Grey's stuck by her for weeks as she patiently waited for Christian to be found. People respond to grief in different ways. Grace returned to work in three weeks. Elliot even sooner. As the week eight mark ended, a reluctant Carrick actually brought up the fact that at some point, Christian would have to be declared dead. For Ana, that was a turning point. She withdrew from everyone after that. Everyone except Taylor. He was the only one who understood. Circumstances had forced her to become more involved in Grey Enterprises than she ever wanted or felt capable of doing. It didn't matter what she thought; Christian had left her in charge. Most things were delegated to responsible knowledgible employees. Many times all that was needed was her signature. Then there were days like today. Today, some young hotshot billionaire was making a play for a hostile takeover. She was being advised by Christian's people to take the offer and run. Hah! Really, how stupid could someone be to think she would cede control of Christians precious company, something he had worked so hard for, for so many years? Really, how fucking stupid were they?She sat in Christian's chair and slipped her purse into the bottom desk draw. Andrea entered with tea for her and coffee for Taylor. Andrea then went on about the upcoming meeting with Schneiderman. Ana remained silent and finally nodded her acknowledgement. As the door finally closed behind Andrea, she sighed.

She was tired, so very tired. Everything was a struggle. Everything. Even talking took effort. Eating was difficult at best. Swallowing actually painful. With each mouthful of food, she wondered what Christian was eating. Then she'd either barf or choke. Taylor had taken to giving her liquid meal replacements like Ensure. She never finished them, but they both figured some nourishment was better than none. Taylor looked up at the clock on the wall. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She nodded yes, took a sip of tea and stood.

Silently, they made their way to Conference room A. Schneiderman was there with his lawyers, accountants and several obvious security people. GEH people were seated as well. Six lawyers ready to do battle. Ana felt her inexperience had brought GEH to this point. Taylor maintained it was simply grief. Everyone in the company was suffering. Things were being overlooked. Anomalies weren't being spotted. Now Schneiderman had a death grip on GEH. If he called in the loans that he held, he'd own GEH. Ana looked around the room at the various faces. She had only one plan. She had to save GEH, whatever it took. If she failed, than life was over. What would the point be? If Christian magically appeared only to find his life's work gone? He'd be real happy with that. She looked at the faces once again. Schneiderman's group seemed almost giddy. They were very sure of themselves. "Gentlemen. Mr Schneiderman. Before we go any further I wonder if I could have a moment of your time privately, sir. You may bring a security person if you like. I will have Taylor, as always. Schneiderman hesitated a long time before nodding his agreement. Then he turned to his personal security, a man named Dawson and nodded at him. Then he stood and followed Ana and Taylor back to Christian's office. She sat in Christian's chair and looked Schneiderman right in the eye. "Do you mind if we dispense with the niceties?" He simply nodded his agreement. "Very well. I will try to make this brief. I will never give up this company willingly. I may lose it, but I will fight to the death. It will be a bloodbath for both of us. In the end, even if you win, I don't know what will be left. To avoid all that, I want to make you an offer. Find proof that Christian is dead, find his helicopter wreckage or his body and I will give you the company for one dollar. " Schneiderman wasn't expecting that. Ana could tell by the rapid blinking of his eyes he was startled even though he displayed no outward emotion.

"Mrs Grey, surely if your husband's helicopter hadn't been found by now, it is unlikely my people could find it. "

Mr Schneiderman, I believe Christian is alive. I believe in my heart of hearts I would know deep inside if he was dead. I would know!" Her voice trembling with intensity. "I need new eyes, new thoughts, people not overwhelmed with grief who feel they're searching for nothing. Please help me! If you can't find anything in six months, I won't fight the takeover."

Schneiderman stood and walked slowly to the floor to ceiling window. Hands clasped behind his back, he stood silently looking out on the Seattle skyline. Finally, he turned. "Three months. "

"Five." Ana countered.

"Four. That would make seven months of searching. "/p

"Deal. " Ana said softly, then stood and shook his hand. As she held his hand, she squeezed it and said simply, "Find him Leonard. Please."

"If finding his remains can get me your company for a dollar, you can bet we'll be looking real hard."

Ana smiled weakly and said simply, "Thank you." Then she grabbed her desk with both hands as a wave of dizziness hit her. Taylor was by her side immediately, helping her to sit back in her chair then sending a brief text on his phone. Schneiderman watched the frail woman sit and knew she was nearing her breaking point. She didn't look like she could take much more. He marveled at her loyalty and found himself envious of Grey. Grey might be a ruthless bastard in the business world but his woman was truly in love with him. There was a knock at the door and Andrea entered with a crystal glass full of Ensure.

Ana sighed in disgust. She wanted to take a sip but her hands were trembling. Without a sound Taylor held the glass to her lips and then magically handed her a linen napkin. She looked up at Schneiderman, "My apologies, sir. I have a simple contract right here" she handed it to Schneiderman. He read the very brief contract that said in very clear simple English find Charley Tango and Christian Grey's body and get GEH for a buck. He signed with a flourish and handed it back. Taylor and Dawson witnessed it and Andrea was called to make copies. A final handshake and Schneiderman was on his way. A phone call and GEH in Conference room A were released back to their offices. Another text by Taylor and Ana was leaving, supported by Sawyer on one side and Taylor on the other.

The memory of that day was a bitter pill. She hadn't found Christian and by midnight tonight she would lose GEH. How would she ever survive and, in truth, did she even want to? She stood and opened the medicine cabinet reaching for the bottle of Advil and quickly swallowing two pills with a half a glass of water. She looked in the mirror at the sorry creature who stared back. Black rings under her eyes. Her hair needed brushing , so did her teeth. A hot shower wouldn't go amiss either but that all took energy, energy she just didn't have. Still wearing her beloved's white tee shirt, she decided to head for security and see Jason.


	3. Chapter 3

Ana slowly headed down the hall towards the security office, head bowed and gait a tad unsteady. Ryan and Sawyer were there but not Taylor. Both of them looked like they had been in a bar brawl and avoided her eyes. Not seeing Taylor, she decided to move on. Slowly she made her way to the Great Room. As soon as she entered the room she knew something was off. The giant TV screen had been on and she could see a Breaking News icon at the top of the screen. Just as she entered the room, the tv was turned off.

She looked around and saw Gail and Flynn. Just a few feet in front of her, Taylor was laid out on the couch, his face battered. For a man who showed so little emotion awake, his face in repose was startling. If she didn't know him better, she would swear she saw fear on his face. She walked towards him, ignoring Gail and Flynn. She looked up at the clock, 11:25 am. Flynn had must have sedated him. Ana stood in a daze as memories of last night danced through her head. She let herself slip down to the floor near Taylor. She felt safe near him.

Gail frowned. The elevator pinged. Sawyer walked out to greet whoever was coming. Ana looked to see who it was and was startled to see Welch. Ana started to tremble. Welch didn't come to Escala. He dealt with Taylor. By phone. Why was he here? If he needed to speak with her, he would have called. Ryan came out of Security and stood in the entrance to the Great Room. He looked somber. She flicked her head towards Sawyer but his eyes avoided hers, his face unusually devoid of emotion. Here, at home, Sawyer could always be counted on for a reassuring smile, sometimes only a nod but always some way to let her know things were okay. Well, obviously today, things weren't okay.

Welch entered and looked around at everyone, one at a time. "Looks like you folks had a rough night." Then he walked over to Flynn and asked how much longer Taylor would be out. Flynn assured him he'd be coming to soon and he was welcome to try and wake him. Welch looked at Ana, as she sat on the floor by a Taylor, dressed in the same white tee shirt and panties from last night, then turned his attention to Gail. "Would you be so kind as to assist Mrs Grey with her shower and getting dressed?"

Gail promptly agreed and Ana found herself being led from the room like an errant child. She wanted to protest but it took too much energy. It was simpler to just take Gail's hand and let her lead her away.

Welch then walked over and booted Taylor's ass hard while shouting his name amidst a volley of swear words. Ryan and Sawyer smiled at the bewildered look on Taylor's face as he opened his eyes, tried to sit up, rubbing his ass at the same time. Welch then ordered Taylor go take a shower and return when he was more presentable.

The next thing Ana knew she was standing under a hot shower. She stood under the water unable to move. Something was happening, something to do with Christian. She held on to the grab bar for dear life. Gail was talking to her but Ana couldn't hear the words. Welch was here, in Escala and he knew something. Ryan and Sawyer, they knew too. She felt Gail shampooing her hair and clutched the grab bar tighter. Was this the day she had always feared? Tears mingled with shampoo as she prayed like she never had before. She thought of the Breaking News banner she had seen. She wondered if it was about Christian. If it was, everyone would be happy. They wouldn't be avoiding her eyes. They would be sharing the good news. She felt a sob wrack her body and prayed for God to spare her husband, but God never answered her prayers. Today he sent Welch instead. She dressed in simple black Yoga pants and one of Christian's white button down shirts. She rolled up the sleeves and tied the shirt tails. She was going out to see Welch and find out what everyone else seemed to know.

Gail accompanied her to the Great Room in time to see Welch leading Taylor into the Great Room as well. He was dressed in his work clothes, black suit, black tie but his head was down. He looked defeated. Gail led Ana to Christian's favorite chair and Ana sat with her trembling hands clutched together and her heart racing. Flynn stood on one side of her, Taylor came over and stood on the other. Welch began, "Mrs Grey. There have been developments. "

Ana began to cry. She felt Taylor's big strong hand gently squeeze her shoulder. Welch continued, "Schneiderman's people have located and identified the wreckage from Charley Tango." Ana gasped and collapsed. As Flynn dealt with Ana, Taylor turned on Welch. "You stupid fuck! Why couldn't you just start with he may be alive? Why did you have to say you found the wreckage?"

Welch looked unflustered and explained he would have gotten to that. He then pointed out to Taylor just because there were no bodies in the wreckage doesn't mean he's alive. Seven months is a long time to wander in the wilderness with no food, no weapons, and no roof over your head. Ana came around a few minutes later. There was a wild look in her eye as she pushed Flynn away. She searched for Welch and when she found his eyes she asked, "Did you find Christian?"

"No, M'am. Schneiderman is pulling out all the stops. He had 1000 ATV's on the ground searching for him. There is evidence that he survived the initial crash. It looks like he stayed near the crash site for a while, several weeks at least. Then he decided to walk out. The big screen TV came on and there was a picture of the wreckage. Ana sighed in relief. The chopper was on its side and charred but it wasn't a scrunched up ball if metal. It looked survivable. Next the screen showed a series of rocks forming an arrow to show searchers what direction they had taken. Next on the screen was a map of the area. "As you can see, this is a very remote area. There are a few unused logging roads and a few fire roads but the only actual road with any kind of traffic on it is here, eighty miles away as the crow flies. On foot , with that terrain it will easily double so make that closest road 160 miles away. Mrs Grey, I urge you not to get your hopes up."

Taylor whispered something in her ear. She nodded. He left the room for a moment. When he returned, Welch was still droning on. Taylor knelt and slipped her bare feet into sneakers which he then tied. She stood, Taylor held out his arm and she took it. Taylor nodded at Sawyer and the three walked past Welch and Flynn like they didn't exist. "Flynn, go with them, damn it!" Welch ordered. Then he started yelling at Taylor and Sawyer, threatening to fire them, he was still yelling threats when the doors of the elevator closed.


	4. Chapter 4

It was late in the day as the black Audi SUV bounced along the rutted dirt road. Sawyer glanced in the rear view mirror. Ana was asleep in Taylor's arms, her head on his shoulder. At least she had finally stopped crying. He wondered if Taylor was asleep. Beside him was Flynn. Taylor had already threatened Flynn, telling him to keep his mouth shut or he'd shut it for him. Flynn just sat quietly and never said a word. Suddenly, Sawyer hit a huge pothole and Taylor opened his eyes and glared at him in the rear view mirror. Sawyer turned his attention back to the road. A few minutes later he heard Taylor grunt, "How much further?" "About 5 miles, maybe 15 minutes."

"Let Schneiderman know our eta and that we'll need help with the media. "

"Okay, T. I'm on it."

Taylor closed his eyes again and began preparing himself for different scenarios. His thoughts were interrupted by Sawyer's voice calling, "Five minutes , T"

"Ana, time to wake up. We're almost there."

She lifted her head and looked around and sank back into his shoulder. She knew she had to move but right now Taylor's warmth and strength were hard to give up. She muttered "Okay," but nestled deeper in his shoulder. Usually his gun poked into her making his shoulder a less than comfortable pillow. Puzzled, she patted his shoulder with her palm. Taylor knew just when she realized his gun wasn't there. He schooled his features carefully, successfully blanking out any emotion.

"Taylor, where is your gun?"

Deliberately avoiding her glance, he stared out the window at the lush forest that grew on each side of the road. "Welch took it this morning and placed me on medical leave."

She sat up alertly now. "What the hell does that mean?" Taylor didn't reply. He thought to himself, it means he watched the video from last night and concluded I am crazy as a loon. Then he gently lifted her off his chest and placed her on the seat beside him.

"Taylor, are you serious? Has he lost his mind?"

"Don't worry about it Ana. Let's just take one thing at a time."

"But Taylor," Ana protested.

"Ana, look at my hands." He held them up palms facing outward. "They're trembling and I have no clue why. I get so angry, so easily, all I want to do is punch people."

Flynn listened and wished he could speak with Taylor but for now he had to remain silent.

"Sometimes , sometimes Christian was like that. It will be okay Taylor, whatever happens, whatever we learn. Just, just please don't let me go. As long as you're there, I can manage."

"Don't worry, I'll be right beside you."

The car slowed. There were vehicles and satellite trucks everywhere. A white pick up truck came out of nowhere and led them to Schneiderman's base of operations. Taylor slipped his suit jacket around Ana and gave her his sun glasses.

Sawyer watched in the rear view mirror than stretched his long arm back to Taylor and said simply,"Here, T. Take mine." And handed him his sunglasses.

"Thanks, Luke." It was late in the day, not much sun but he didn't want photos in the press showing the bruise under his eye or the lifeless bloodshot look in his eyes. The car stopped. Luke came around and opened the door for Ana. Taylor slid out behind her. They started walking toward the tent but the media was viscous. They took three steps, heard twelve questions about how and when Christian died and then just lifted Ana off the ground and ran the rest of the way. Flynn followed. One of Schneiderman's suits greeted them and led them the rest of the way. Ana saw Schneiderman right away. There was a crowd of people around him that immediately parted as Taylor and she made their way across the room. She dropped Taylor's hand and took one more step forward. "Leonard," she greeted in a firm voice that defied the trembling her body felt. She felt Taylor's hands dig into her shoulder.

"Mrs Grey." Schneiderman replied with a big grin. "You have remarkable timing. We think we have located your husband and we think he is alive."

Ana gasped. From somewhere a voice called, "Sir, we have video." Schneiderman led her to a small screen and she saw him. Christian. Stumbling down a hill, with two men assisting him to a waiting helicopter. Gaunt, bearded, ragged clothes and long haired but it was Christian. She watched as he was helped inside and the helicopter took off.


	5. Chapter 5

Leonard Schneiderman was the hero of the day. He met with the media on behalf of Mrs Grey and said she would be giving a brief statement as soon as she had met with Christian , who was in the process of being transferred to Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital. Afterwards, Schneiderman took the four of them in his private helicopter directly to the hospital.

Flynn watched Taylor closely as Ana approached Christian's hospital room. She had been told his injuries were minor. He was suffering from exposure, he was dehydrated and had a bad infection in one foot but other that he was fine. Physically, at least. Ana entered the room. She slipped Taylor's jacket off and handed it to him. Taylor stayed back and stood in the doorway. Christian and Ana stared hard at each other without saying a word. Tears fell from their eyes but neither said a word. Slowly Ana approached, her breathing rapid and shallow. Finally, just a few feet away, she paused, unable to believe it was really him. In a trembling voice barely audible and filled with uncertainty, she whispered "Christian?" He held open his arms and managed a horse "Ana!" And then she was there beside him in the bed, clinging to him, crying hysterically. Christian wasn't much better. He held her tight and sobbed into her hair. Taylor saw what he needed to see. He spoke to Sawyer and told him to watch the door and to get Welch to send a team here. Then he turned to go.

"T, where you headed?"

"I'm really tired, Luke. I need to find some place to sack out. I'll see you later." He turned and started walking alone down the long corridor.

Flynn watched the reunion for a moment and then looked for Taylor. He was gone. He asked Sawyer who pointed down the hallway just in time for Flynn to see him disappear into the elevator. Flynn nodded his thanks to Sawyer and started jogging towards the elevator. Once outside he quickly spotted him about a half a block away. Flynn sighed and reluctantly started to jog again. Taylor walked, head down, no destination in mind. All he knew was he didn't want to think. He didn't understand what was going on, why he felt so angry. Nothing made sense. He looked at his feet and simply concentrated on moving one foot after the other. He never noticed when Flynn joined him, only when he grabbed his arm and sharply hauled him back at the same time a taxi's horn blared. He wondered why Flynn was there but it took too much energy to care, too much to listen or to talk. He was done. So he just stood there and stared blankly at Flynn.

"It's okay, Jason. " Flynn offered in a reassuring voice, while flagging down a taxi. Taylor sighed. Thoughts were flitting around his brain too fast for him to keep up with. He was pretty sure Flynn said something but it was just so hard to hear. He shook his head trying to clear it but that didn't help. The next thing he knew, Flynn was guiding him into a taxi. He didn't hear Flynn tell the driver, "The Heathman."


	6. Chapter 6

Christian laid in his hospital bed, feeling his annoyance grow. His foot had been lanced and bandaged. He was getting IV antibiotics and fluids to help with the dehydration. He'd had a shower and shaved. Ana had cut his hair. He'd had some soup and bread and a glass of milk. He'd kept everything down and was looking forward to his next meal. He should feel elated, on top of the world, instead he kept wondering what everyone was keeping from him. The security team looked god awful. Every one of the fuckers had a black eye, cut lip or broken nose. When asked about their injuries, they each came up with some bull shit answer and that just pissed him off more. Then there was Taylor. Where the fuck was he? Why wasn't he here? He even called Welch about everything. Welch simply said, "There was an incident. I 'll explain it to you tomorrow. "

"No, Welch. Now. Get your fucking ass over here now or I swear to god, I'll fucking fire your ass right now!"

Welch sighed, knowing this upcoming confrontation was inevitable. "Yes,sir."

Christian ran his fingers through his shortened, clean hair waiting for Ana to return. He'd sent her to buy him clothes. It was a stupid excuse and she saw right through it. She had looked at him with a sad, resigned look on her face and just said, "Of course, Christian." Friday night at ten pm there wasn't much open, just Wally World. So Luke drove her to Walmart When she returned an hour and a half later, Welch was just leaving. The atmosphere in the room plunged. She sat down beside his bed, trying not to act nervous but her hands had started to tremor ever so slightly and her stomach wanted to heave. He knew something. She found herself talking nervously about stupid inane things. She concentrated on talking, hoping against hope he wasn't going to interrogate her.

"Anastasia. Is something wrong ?"

"No, Christian. What makes you think that ?"

"Anastasia, look me in the eye."

Reluctantly Ana looked up at him.

"Did you sleep with Taylor?"

A look of horror and fear washed over her face, as she stammered and stuttered, "You don't understand..."

"Fuck, Ana, yes or no. Did you sleep with him?"

" I-I- I well, yes, but it's not"

Suddenly his voice roared, "Get her the fuck out of here!"

Immediately a strange man grabbed her by the arm and led outside where another man joined him. As he pulled her to the door , Ana pleaded, "Please don't hurt him, Christian. Please, he only did it for me. Don't do this Christian. Please, baby, please!" Her voice rising in a hysterical scream.

The stranger in black jeans and a jean jacket quickly jerked her into the hallway and then into a laundry room. There was another man waiting for them in the room. "Problem?" He asked "Yeah, she's fucking hysterical. " "Well, we can't have that, can we?" And then he pulled out a syringe and stabbed her arm while his cohort opened a wheelchair. The last thing Ana remembered was these men were not Christian's normal security people. And they scared her.


	7. Chapter 7

Flynn calmly stepped off the freight elevator. At least he gave the outward appearance of being calm. Inside he was wondering if he would ever be allowed to even walk away from this nightmare alive. They walked down a hall and through a padlocked door. Then they entered a big open area. There were no windows. On the floor against a cinder block wall was Taylor. Slumped, still unconscious, hands cuffed. Then Flynn noticed the blood trickling from Taylor's lip. Outraged, he shouted at them, "You hit him while he's out? How dare you strike him when he's unconscious. What kind of animals are you ?" The three men broke out laughing, then shoved Flynn in a chair and quickly cuffed his hand behind him and then cuffing those cuffs to his ankles. His muscles screamed in protest but there was nothing he could do. The guy who had taken Flynn out came over to him and asked how long Taylor would be out. Flynn said 6-8 hours. The man cursed savagely and then walked over to Taylor and savagely kicked his ribs." Flynn gasped in horror. This was disgusting and barbaric. He heard the freight elevator somewhere behind him. The sound of the gate opening was unmistakable. No one came into the big open area where Taylor and he were being held. Flynn eventually closed his eyes and waited wearily. Ana woke up in the dark. The floor beneath her was cold, hard and dirty. She slowly sat up, trying to see in the dark and ears cocked to hear the slightest sound. After a while, she was sure she was alone. She stood and abruptly realized her shoes were gone. She could just make out the door from the crack of light around it. She approached it nervously. After listening for an eternity, she felt for the door knob and twisted it ever do gently. She needn't have bothered. It was locked. What was Christian up to? She was sure he would never hurt her or allow anyone else to hurt her, but then why the hell was she here? As confident as she was that Christian would never allow anyone to hurt her, she was unsure just how far he would go when it came to Taylor. If he truly believed Taylor seduced her and had an intimate relationship with her, his sense of betrayal and need for control could easily drive him over the edge. As it was right now, if he were sitting across from her and she told him the truth about everything he probably wouldn't believe a word she said. He was caught up in all his fucked up fifty shades. He would be cold and uncaring and thinking only of vengence. He would be untouchable, unreachable, impassive and decisive. How the hell was she going to melt that block of ice and find her Christian? 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N. I am having formatting issues which I will try to resolve. My apology.I'm not much for authors notes or explaining a story. Nevertheless, for those who have asked, yes, Christian was flying alone. In my version, Ros wasn't there. No, Taylor and Ana did not have a sexual relationship, but he did sleep with her.

Flynn's head sagged on his chest. He was cold, his muscles painfully cramped and he needed to urinate. It had been quiet, very quiet for several hours. There was no one else in this large open area except Taylor and he was still out for the count. As near as he could see there were no windows, at least not on the will facing him. There were stacks of chairs and piles of flattened cardboard but mostly there was a whole lot of nothing. His spirits sagged as he thought of Rhian and this boys. Quickly realizing that would get him nowhere, he changed his focus to Christian. How far would Christian go to seek revenge? If only he could see him and speak with him, he might be able to show him that this behavior was unacceptable. Maybe. He heard footsteps then and the three goons were back.

One grabbed Flynn by the hair and jerked hid head up. "You said 6-8 hours. Why isn't he awake?"

Flynn shrugged. "Everyone is different."

"Fine! Paulie! Wake that fucker up, now!"

Paulie gave an evil grin and said, "Sure thing, boss." Then he ran out of the room. Five minutes later he returned with a bucket of water.

Flynn winced at the rattling sound of ice cubes crashing into each other as the water sloshed against the sides of the plastic bucket. Then, as he stood over Taylors body, he dumped the bucket of ice cold water all over him. Then added a harsh boot to his ribs as an afterthought.

Taylor woke in a hurry, confused, with pain everywhere. His head was pounding, his jaw ached. His lip was bleeding and he needed to take a piss. Fuck! He managed to sweep the room with his eyes and nearly lost it when he saw Flynn. Unless he was very much mistaken, Tony Fanelli stood across the room from him. Tony Fanelli, known more popularly as The Undertaker and it wasn't for his wrestling moves. Shit. Fanelli was on the phone. Taylor wondered idly if he were speaking with Grey. His body language, when he nodded his head, it seemed somewhat deferential. Suddenly he felt himself being roughly hauled up to a standing position and then slammed into the cinderblock wall. He saw stars for a moment and everything spun. The guy that had was screaming at him and shoved him into a chair. It was hard to think but then Taylor remembered. "I need to take a leak "

The dumb fucker looked hesitant at first, then kicked the empty bucket over.

Taylor rolled his eyes. "I'm fucking cuffed, dude. Can you undo one hand at least."

Paulie pulled out his gun. "Okay, but make one wrong move and its over. Capisce?"

Taylor silently nodded and then asked about Flynn and he probably needed to go too. Seated directly opposite Taylor now, Flynn nodded with a small grin. Once Paulie had Taylor recuffed and secure, he undid Flynn and allowed him to use the bucket as well. As positive things go, it wasn't much, but it sure beat sitting in your own piss. It had also allowed him to observe the knife in Paulies left sock and the 22 strapped to his right ankle. The boss was nuts for playing with these guys. Christian might think he was in charge and calling the shots but Taylor doubted it. How the hell did he ever got mixed up with Fanelli?

Fanelli wasn't muscle or an enforcer. He didn't belong to a mafia family. He was a loner with two or three guys he used for back up. He didn't leave witnesses. He specialized in getting information quickly and then disposing of the informant. Occasionally, he disposed of the client as well. If the information could turn him a quick profit, Fanelli was more inclined to cut out the middle man. The boss was a dumb fuck. From a distance, Taylor heard a freight elevator groan. He looked to the doorway. Paulie had his hun out ; he was another dumb fuck. Then, Fanelli strode into the room, followed by the boss. Taylor's eyes bulged as he saw who was walking in on his arm. No fucking way! Fucking Elena Lincoln? Taylor let out a string of filthy curses under his breath as he stared in shock at Elena. Taylor was sure now things couldn't get any worse.


	9. Chapter 9

Taylor sat in shock as he watched the bitch prance in on Grey's arm. He was limping and skinny as shit. He looked around for Sawyer or Ryan but they were alone. Fuck. Fanelli was off the phone and warning the shithead named Paulie to keep his gun on me and stay alert.

Taylor didn't want to look at Grey, he didn't want to see what the months of surviving alone in the wild had done to him. Yet, to be honest, what he really didn't want to see was the look of betrayal and the pain of that betrayal in his eyes. So, like a coward, he kept his head down and stared at the floor.

"Look at me, you motherfucker!"

Slowly Taylor raised his head. Grey came closer, his anger radiating outward in waves.

"So, Jason, how was she? Did you like fucking her? How many times have you fucked her, Taylor? Answer me, you fuck."

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" He asked, knowing it sounded stupid but hoping it might resonate with the old Christian Grey.

Grey snorted in disgust and leaned in closer, "Did you sleep with her?" He asked harshly.

"Yes!" Taylor replied defiantly, "To keep her alive, I slept with her, but that's all we did. Sleep!"

"How fucking stupid do you think I am?" Grey yelled and then ordered Paulie "Stand him up." The goon known as Paulie went behind Taylor and grabbing him under his arm pits, jerked him to his feet. Taylor closed his eyes and braced for the blow. It was a sharp, hard blow to his gut. Taylor moaned as his body sagged and knew he'd be pissing blood if he lived long enough to take another leak.

"No! Stop! What are you doing, Christian?!" Ana cried out desperately, while a third man dragged her unwillingly into the room. Taylor looked, unable to believe his eyes, knowing if he thought he was fucked before, he was fucked even more now. He looked at Grey, his body language told the story. Grey was overwhelmed and confused. Then, Taylor glanced at Elena. Fuck. Anyone who thought the devil was a guy had never met Elena Lincoln. She was evil personified. How the boss could even think of looking at her when he had Ana was unfathomable.

As Ana passed close to Christian, she let her body go lax and fell to her knees. She looked up at him and begged with tears in her eyes, "Don't do this, Christian. Don't listen to her. You'll hate yourself. Just let us go. Please, Christian. At least let Flynn go. Nothing happened. Let Taylor go. He didn't do anything. He just kept me alive. "

Grey stood over her, weak, tired and confused. She sounded so believable, yet she readily admitted to sleeping with Taylor. What was he missing? Something didn't make sense. All of a sudden, Elena screeched, "Bring her now!" The goon dragged Ana over near Taylor. Elena followed. Ana held her head up proudly as she glared defiantly at Elena. Elena never blinked, just snarled and bitch slapped her as hard as she could. Ana sagged as blood started pouring from her nose, but the defiant look on her face never left.

"Elena! That's enough!"

"Shut up, Christian. I haven't even started yet."

"No! This isn't the answer. I should never have listened to you ." He looked over at Fanelli. And said simply, "Release them."

Suddenly, Elena's arm shot up, holding a revolver. "Tsk,tsk, you are so predictable, darling, but no matter. I thought we cold enjoy some playtime first, but I see that's not the case. Looking at Fanelli, she said. "Take her to Isaach."

"What about them?" asked Fanelli.

"All in good time, Mr Fanelli. All in good time." Then she turned toward Christian and

continued, "Christian, darling, I need your signature. "

"Elena, what is going on?"

"Shut up, Christian and just sign this " she handed him a folded piece of white parchment paper. He took it and started to read. The words "Last Will and Testament" made everything very clear. Jesus, what had he done.

"Sign it!" She commanded furiously.

"Sign it or what? You're going to kill me? Well, you will anyway. Why should I sign?"

The gun in her hand blasted and Flynn screamed in pain. Taylor yelled out, "Don't sign it." And the gun bucked again and Taylor slid to the floor. Christian reached out for the pen and scribbled his signature. Elena grabbed the Will, and shook her head sadly. "Too bad, darling. We could have had such fun. Don't worry. I'll teach that gold digging whore a lesson. I am sure life in my dungeon will teach that bitch some respect. In fact, you can count on it. " Then she gave an evil laugh and her heels started clicking across the floor as she left, stopping briefly by Fanelli and warning him not to screw it up or he'd never see his cut.

Paulie looked at Fanelli, "How are we going to handle this, boss?"


	10. Chapter 10

Isaac entered the room quietly and headed directly for Ana. He pulled her to her feet, but she struggled. She screamed and cursed and finally succeeded in raking her nails across Isaac's face. She tried desperately to gouge his eyes only to suddenly feel herself being lifted in the air in a choke hold. She never felt Isaac's fist slam into the side of her head knocking her unconscious.

"Welch!" Sawyer whispered harshly.

"Report!"

"Where the fuck is the back up?! I've got shots fired. Everyone is in that fucking building. Ana, Grey, and Taylor. Fucking John Flynn is there too. Elena Lincoln is here with fucking Isaac, not to mention Fanelli and his two goons."

"Back up is two minutes away. "

"Not good enough, Welch! I managed to get a tracker on her car, though. Oh shit! Elena and Isaac are leaving and he's carrying Ana over his shoulder. He's putting her into the trunk. I think she's unconscious. "

"As soon as they leave, enter the building." Welch ordered tersely.

"We'll be right on your heels ."

"But, Ana..."

"Sawyer, they are taking her away alive. Grey, Taylor and Flynn may not be so lucky. Get in there! There's no time to waste."

"Yes sir."

Inside the building. Fanelli ordered his men to bring Christian and Taylor upstairs to the main level. They could come back for Flynn later. Fanelli kept a gun pointed at Christian's forehead while his goons dragged a wounded but uncooperative Taylor to the freight elevator.

Upstairs, Sawyer heard the groan of the freight elevator. He looked around in a frenzy for somewhere to hide and then saw the perfect spot. If he could get there in time. There was a cat walk near the ceiling, probably with offices off of it. It gave a perfect view of the large open area below it. He ran to the door next to the elevator, assuming it was the stairs, but the door was locked. He heard the elevator stop and knew time was running out. Then he spotted the narrow metal ladder that accessed the cat walk. He ran over to it and started scrambling up as fast as possible. Then, he vaulted over wall that protected the cat walk and pulled out his phone. He texted Welch, warning that elevator was in motion and not to enter yet.

The elevator doors opened. Fanelli led Christian into another large room, like the one below. Behind him, Paulie and company dragged a badly beaten Taylor still bleeding from the gunshot wound to his shoulder.

Fanelli lined the two men up. Then he smiled at Christian, "What you do you say, Grey? You want to shoot the motherfucker or shall I?"

"You can't just shoot him, he's cuffed!"

"I'll take that as a no. The cuffs bother you? They just make my job easier." He lifted his gun and said "Step away, guys" then just as he was going to press the trigger, Sawyer leaned over the railing and blew his brains out. Paulie and company looked all around for the shooter. They never looked up. Sawyer fired two more kill shots and watched Paulie and company go down. He texted Welch an all clear and hopped over the catwalk and scrambled back down the ladder heading straight for Taylor.

Welch charged in with his weapon drawn and headed for Taylor as well. Christian stood all alone, ignored by everyone. Well, Welch did ask if he was injured. His security team that he paid a small fortune to were ignoring him as if he didn't exist. Fuck that!

"Welch!" He commanded loudly. Welch, who was crouched in front of Taylor, removing the cuffs and trying to determine the extent of his injuries looked up once and ignored him again.

Furious, Grey strode over to him,"What the hell is with you Welch?"

"Not now, Grey. "

"Fuck you, Welch, why not now?"

Welch, who was busy applying direct pressure to Taylor's gunshot wound, heard Taylor moan loudly in pain and looked at Sawyer. "Get him the fuck out of here before I fucking shoot his ass."

Sawyer finished pulling his belt off and gave it to Welch who proceded to use it to apply pressure to the wound. "Come on, Mr Grey, let's go outside. "

Outside. The building, Grey was amazed at what he saw. Cars kept pulling up, unloading men with weapons. Then a moving van pulled up, double parked, and a team of medical professions ran into the building, carrying all types of medical equipment and two gurneys. Suddenly, he felt alarmed. How bad was Taylor hurt? And what about Flynn? He hadn't even asked about him yet. He looked at Sawyer and asked curiously,"Where did all these people come from?"

Sawyer looked at Grey and said simply, "Taylor has a lot of friends. When he needed help, his friends were there. "

"You mean this isn't my security team?"

Sawyer laughed bitterly, "Grey, you fired us all yesterday, remember? Then you chose Fanelli to protect you while you dealt with Taylor. Remember?"

"But, but Elena said,"

"Fuck Elena. I don't even want to hear what the bitch said. How the fuck can you even bring it up?"

"I can't help it. She was my friend for so long. My only friend. I trusted her."

"You trusted her but you couldn't trust Ana or Taylor?" Luke asked, his voice tinged with sarcasm, looking away with disgust. Grey reached for Sawyers arm, "What really happened Luke?"

Just then, one of Welch's men approached, letting Luke know Welch needed him. Sawyer left a troubled Grey outside and headed for Welch. He was standing over Taylor who was laying in a gurney bare chested with a huge bandage wrapped around his shoulder. T kept trying to get up only to have Welch push him back down. "T!" Sawyer greeted him affectionately, grasping his hand and wrist with both hands.

"Where's Ana?" a very pale Taylor asked, and using Lukes grip on his arm, hauled himself up to a sitting position.

"Damn it, Taylor, you need surgery. Can't you just lay down?" grumbled Welch.

"No surgery until Ana is safe, Welch. I told you that. As soon as that bag of blood is empty, I am out of here." Then he looked at Sawyer, "Welch said you put a tracker on her car?" Sawyer smiled and nodded. He pulled his phone out of his jacket, pressed a few buttons and watched as the screen lit up, then handed it to Taylor. Taylor stared at it in horror, as Welch leaned over to see the screen. Welch looked from one man to the other, "She's headed home?" He asked. Taylor sighed, "No, Welch. She's taking Ana to her dungeon." Taylor cursed viciously, then said simply, "We need Grey. We will never find the dungeon without him. Fuck! Get him, Luke."


	11. Chapter 11

Welch sat behind the wheel of the black SUV, staring at Taylor's men and Grey returning from Elena Lincolns home with its impressive black wrought iron gate. Behind him was Taylor, struggling to look normal but fading fast. Welch knew he would lose consciousness soon and if he wasn't in surgery within the next hour, odds were he wouldn't make it.

"Taylor, where else might she go?" asked Welch.

Taylor watched guys from the second SUV open the gate and guide Grey back into the other SUV. It was becoming harder to concentrate. He could feel his heart racing, trying desperately to make up for the blood loss. His time to help was running out. He forced himself to concentrate, to think, to remember some of the stunts Elena had pulled in the past. "You know her, Welch. She thinks she can get away with anything. If she's not home, she'll be in the last place we would expect to find her "

"Which is?"

Taylor hesitated,"I don't know. I'm not sure. Maybe Escala, or Grey House?"

"Escala?"asked Welch in disbelief.

"Jeeze, T! You're right!" Sawyer burst out excitedly. "No one would ever look for her in Escala. Plus she knows Grey fired all his staff. She'll expect the place to be empty with no security at all. Hell, she'd use his playroom in a heartbeat and then just leave her body there and blame Grey. She'd probably has a plan to kill Grey and have them both be found together dead. For her, its a win-win situation."

Taylor smiled weakly, sure now he was right. His body sagged in relief as he slumped up against Sawyer. Luke met Welch's eyes in the rear-view mirror and just nodded. Three minutes later a helicopter landed in the middle of the road. Taylor didn't protest as he was transferred to a stretcher, He just grasped Luke's arm as hard as he could, and bit out,"Keep her safe, Luke, don't leave her side."

Luke met his eyes and felt his own begin to water. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, wondering if they had pushed the envelope too hard, wondering if he would ever see Taylor again. He nodded hard, not daring to speak as his hand fell off Luke's arm and they carried him away.

Once Taylor was air-lifted out, Welch led the strike team to Escala. Luke brought up the security system, making sure every camera was live. Then he called them up one by one. Ana was in the playroom, shackled to the cross naked, but still unconscious. It appeared Elena was waiting for her to come around. Isaac was in the playroom but Elena wasn't.

Welch and Sawyer decided to let Grey go up alone. Everyone else would use the freight elevator. Grey was still a far cry from the man he was before the accident. He was a very confused shadow of himself. He wasn't sure how he felt about Ana except he didn't want her to suffer under elena. He was determined to draw Elena's attention. Ana would never survive Elena's punishments. Sawyer would shadow him and be ready to terminate her at the first threat. All he had to do was get out into the open. Sawyer would shadow him and be ready to terminate her at first threat. Grey started yelling. He wanted Elena to reveal herself. He started throwing things, glasses,bottles, lamps, anything he could pick up, he heaved. Suddenly, she was there.

Elena walked out of the master bedroom, dressed in her black leather Dom outfit. She held a gun in one hand. "Christian. Control yourself. Assume the position."

"Fuck you! Get the hell out of my house."

"Darling, you really must control your temper. How about if we go visit your cheating girlfriend. My dear Isaac has been preparing her for me." She didn't point the gun at him, but she didn't put it away either.

Sawyer watched carefully, keeping his distance but growing concerned. Grey was still a wild card. he couldn't let them enter the playroom. Silently, he texted Welch to keep camera 2 live and recording. Welch was waiting near the kitchen with a small team. Sawyer watched Grey stumble up the stairs, holding his head and grabbing his hair. He shook his head sadly to see the confusion and uncertainty on his face every time he looked back at Elena. Just as Grey finally reached the top of the stairs, Sawyer stepped out in clear view and called out loudly, "Elena!" She immediately turned around and aimed her gun at Sawyer. Without hesitating, Sawyer fired twice at her head, hitting her both times.

Grey fell to his knees and began to sob, calling her name over and over. Welch ran out and joined sawyer on the stairs, both men ignoring Grey and the crumpled bloody body that once was Elena Lincoln. They had one job left; get Ana out of the playroom alive. Fortunately, the playroom was soundproof. Isaac would have no idea that anything was wrong.

"Luke, you've done enough. Let me get Ryan..."

"No! We finish it now, you and me. Pull up camera 99."

Welch pulled it up on his phone and together they saw Ana, naked, hanging from the cross, still unconscious but with several lash marks decorating her body. Isaac was busy trying to choose between a studded whip and a cane. He had a whip in one hand but no gun.

Sawyers nostrils flared in anger. "I'm going in. No way that bastard lives. "

"He'll disarm you with the whip." warned Welch.

Luke gave Welch a grim smile and growled, "Let him."

Luke turned the doorknob and stepped into the playroom with his gun drawn. Isaac looked up and suddenly the sound of the whip was crackling in the air and then the leather cord was wrapping around his hand in a very painful manner. The gun dropped to the floor. Sawyer grabbed the whip and started pulling Isaac to him, but Isaac had other plans. He grabbed another whip and sent it wrapping around Sawyer's neck. Luke grabbed at the braided leather cord but he was too late. His airway was already shut off. With eyes bulging he pulled Isaac to him. Isaac may have been a submissive, but he was very strong physically, quite powerful. Together they struggled. Welch watched in vain. He finally opened the door and raised his gun only to see Luke grab the sides of Isaac's head and twist it violently. Welch knew from the sound alone that it was over. Isaac slid to the floor and Luke sagged against the wall, unwrapping the whip from around his neck and taking deep breaths.

"You okay?"

Luke nodded yes, still taking in long harsh breaths.

"Okay. How about you catch your breath and I'll get Ana down."

"No!" Luke stood straight up, looked Welch in the eye and repeated, "No!" He walked to bed, pulled up the red satin sheet and holding it in front of her, he asked Welch to undo her restraints. Once free, she collapsed into the sheet and Luke's embrace. Ever so gently he swung her up into his arms and started for the stairs. Grey was still prostate with grief as Sawyer made his way past him. Sawyer shook his head in disbelief and muttered a vile curse.

Welch sighed in frustration as he heard Sawyer curse. He watched Grey cry over Elena's body and knew this was a cluster fuck of epic proportions. Downstairs he arranged for Elena's body to be moved and Grey to be sedated and transferred to the very private clinic where Taylor and Flynn were taken.


	12. Chapter 12

Flynn sat in the hospital bed and watched fluids from an IV bag drip into his uninjured arm. He didn't know where he was, certainly not in any known Seattle hospital, but the level of care and the medical equipment available was second to none. He had been allowed to call home but was asked not to reveal what was going on. He decided on telling his wife that he had an ongoing emergency with Christian and not to wait up. He would call her again when he had more info. Talking with his wife settled him. The sound of her voice soothed him.

He wondered where Grey was now and if he was alive. Then he thought of Taylor and wondered the same thing. There were four beds in this room and three were filled. The other two men were unconscious. Flynn didn't know them but wondered if they worked for Grey. Flynn looked at his watch surprised no one had removed it.

The door opened and an orderly came in and moved out Flynn's two roommates. Then Welch came in supporting, a bedraggled, confused Grey, who appeared to be in deep shock.

"Christian!" Flynn called.

Grey turned around, suddenly recognizing him, "John! She's dead. Sawyer shot her in the head. Her brains were all over the floor. She's dead, John. She's dead. What am I going to do? She's dead, John. Sawyer shot her in the head. Her brains were all over the floor. She's dead, John. She's dead. What am I going to do?"

"Christian, you need to rest. We can talk after you've slept, okay?"

"You'll still be here John?"

"Yes, Christian, I will still be here. Now lay down and rest."

"I am afraid I will dream about her."

"Don't worry, Christian. Tonight you won't have any dreams. "

A nurse came in and helped Welch to get him undressed and into bed. She injected a heavy dose of ativan into his arm, all the while speaking in a soft soothing voice. Christian never objected. Moments later he was asleep.

Welch came over and sat down beside Flynn's bed and sighed heavily. "Its been a rough couple of days, Dr Flynn. "

"It certainly has. May I ask who Christian was referring to?"

Welch sighed wearily again before answering, "Fucking Elena Lincoln."

Flynn's eyes widened in surprise.

"I know, Doc, I know. The same bitch that made him sign a new will. The same bitch that was forcing him upstairs to the playroom at gunpoint. The same bitch that planned to kill him and Ana and make it look like murder-suicide. He hadn't even asked about Ana, or Taylor or even his family. Apparently, the first and only person he called was Elena.

"How is Ana?"

"You saw the blow to her head that Isaac gave her. Well, when he tossed her in the trunk of Elena's car, her head landed hard on a tire iron. The people here are very experienced and very discreet, but they don't do brain surgery. She's been transferred to University of Washington hospital and is undergoing surgery as we speak. She has serious brain swelling as well as some hemorrhaging. The doctor I spoke with was not optimistic.

"My god! This is unbelievable!"

"Not to mention Luke Sawyer is almost a complete basket case over Ana. He was forced to use his weapon five times today. Taking five lives in such a short period of time is going to catch up to him and right now he has no support. I have people with him, don't get me wrong. Ryan and Reynolds are there with him but he's just withdrawing. I made him give me his weapon and I thought he would slug me. I'm worried about him, real worried.

"I wish I could speak with him. "

"You may get your wish yet, Doc, but right now we're trying to keep some distance between Luke and Grey. There's a lot of bad feelings on both sides. "

"I see. How is Taylor?"

Welch smiled. "Finally, something positive. It was close, he flat-lined in the chopper once and once again in surgery. He's going to be fine. Of course, I'm not sure what is going to happen when he finds out about Ana "

"She seems to be the lynch-pin for almost everyone. "

"I'm having Escala cleaned up right now. We should be able to get Grey there first thing in the morning. Maybe you can get him to agree to see his family. They are driving me crazy, not that I blame them. "

"Do you know the reason behind the estrangement?"

They had him declared dead. They gave up on him. He is not ready to forgive them. "

"I see. He feels abandoned once again. "Flynn sighed, "You're right, Welch. We certainly have our work cut out for us. "


	13. Chapter 13

A/N

Thank you for the kind comments and enthusiasm. I appreciate it.

Welch left Flynn and Grey feeling oddly better. He had two tasks left to do. He nodded to the two armed men guarding the front entrance. Outside, he swept the area with his eyes and headed for his car that was in a fenced in lot with security at the gate as well as on patrol. At least he didn't have to worry about a bomb. He reached his car and got in. Then he pulled out his cell and called Gail Jones. Somehow, everything needed to get back to the way it was. Maybe Gail could be a catalyst.

"Mrs. Jones? It's Welch."

Gail stared down at her phone as her hands both trembled. She could see from the caller ID that it was Welch. Hearing him reconfirm it just made her heart beat faster. Thoughts raced through her mind, as she tried to figure out why he would call her. She prayed silently, 'Please, please, don't let it be Jason.'

"Mrs. Jones?" He asked again, seeking her attention.

"Yes, sir. How can I help you?"

Welch frowned at the formality in her voice. Fuck! This was not going well and he hadn't even started yet.

"There is a lot going on here, Gail. We could really use you at Escala. Mr. Grey is still not himself. Elena Lincoln is dead. Ana is in a coma and her future appears bleak. The verbal termination orders issued by Mr. Grey have been countermanded and all personnel returning to duty will be compensated for their inconvenience."

Gail listened and wondered if she should ask about Taylor and Sawyer. Instead, she found herself asking how Mrs Lincoln died.

"Sawyer shot her in self defense. Grey was there. It was a head shot and messy, but don't worry, I had a clean up crew come in and everything has been restored."

"She died at Escape?" Gail asked, bed horror at the thought obvious.

"I'm afraid so, M'me. "

"That's terrible. How is Luke?"

Welch hesitated before answering. "Luke is okay but he needs to stand down. He doesn't want to leave Ana's side. He promised Taylor he would keep her safe and he's having trouble accepting the severity of her injuries "

"Welch, where is Taylor?"

"For security reasons, I can't tell you where Taylor is. He was shot and seriously injured." Welch heard Gail gasp and wished he hadn't. There wasn't any easy way to do this, so he just plunged ahead. "He almost died, but he managed to make it through the surgery. He's going to be fine. I really can't tell you anything else, Gail, except we need you. Please, can you come back to Escala?"

Gail never hesitated. " I'll be there as soon as I can."

Welch smiled and relaxed ever so slightly. Now, for problem number two.

Luke stood outside the neural ICU in the University of Washington MEDICAL Center. Inside Ana laid on a bed with tubes and drains and IV's seemingly everywhere. She was on a respirator. Her head was bandaged and her glorious hair completely gone. He wished he didn't have to be here and see her like this. He was a coward. He didn't want to be here if she died. No, he wasn't going to think like that. Ana was a fighter. Reality smirked at him. Ana was a fighter. Past tense. Without Grey, she was lost. He sighed, feeling the effects of exhaustion. His eyes burned, his face was flushed, his insides were slowly dissolving from all the black coffee. His back ached and his feet were killing him. He had heard nothing about Taylor and Reynolds and Ryan were both keeping their distance. Not for the first time, Luke found himself wondering why he was there. Standing outside an ICU in a major hospital, thinking about a woman that he was virtually invisible too. None of them were being paid, so why were they all here? Why was he here? What was so special about Ana that everyone was willing to die for her?

Luke thought he must have spaced out for a bit because the next thing he knew Welch was in his face, commanding him to "Follow me."

Luke followed Welch into the elevator and out of the hospital. When he saw Welch was leading him to a black SUV, Luke stopped and said, "No, Welch."and turned to return to the hospital.

"Luke! Wait!"

Sawyer kept walking and called back, "I don't work for Grey any more. Leave me alone. "

Welch grabbed Luke's arm but quickly dropped it when Luke glared at him. "Please, we need to talk. You need a good meal and a decent nights sleep. Let's go to Escala and talk. I can have some dinner delivered. I know you're worried about Ana, but she's not going anywhere. Ryan and Reynolds can cover her. I need you in Escala. "

"Is Grey there?"

"Not yet, but I won't lie to you. I want to have him there tomorrow afternoon with Flynn. Gail will be there as well. Come on, Luke, think about it. A nice rare steak, a cold beer, a hot shower and your own bed to sack out in; seriously, does it get any better than that?"

Luke gave in and grinned, "Okay. I give."


	14. Chapter 14

The steak was great, the beer was cold and the shower was hot and long. Luke had worried he might ,have trouble falling asleep, but it never happened. In the morning he started for the security office until the smell of bacon and fresh biscuits hit his nose. Quickly he detoured to the kitchen where he walked up behind Gail and gave her a big hug.

Welch was already there, chowing down on pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. Gail smiled and nudged him to sit. She set a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee in front of him, followed by a platter of fresh baked biscuits centered between Welch and himself. Then she placed a dish of pancakes bacon and scrambled egg directly in front of him.

The two men devoured all the biscuits as well as everything on their plates. Their hunger satisfied, they got refills on their coffee and headed for the security office. Welch sat behind Taylor's desk. Luke sat at his desk but turned his chair around to face Welch. Welch looked concerned. Finally, he said simply, "Taylor called me. He thinks this isn't over. He doesn't believe Elena could have arranged everything so quickly. He doesn't think Fanelli would ever have dealt with her. He said he woke up in the middle of the night and thought about everything. He said he feels like he's missing something but he doesn't know what it is. He also said his gut tells him its not over."

"So last night was just a lull; this shit storm isn't over? Is that what he's saying?"

"Exactly. I'm inclined to agree. But who could arrange that with just a couple of hours notice?"

"Are Flynn and Grey still at the Moving Company?"

"Yes. They are willing to keep Taylor for another day or so to make sure the surgery was successful and there's no complications like blood clots, but we need to get Grey and Flynn this afternoon. "

"Flynn is really good with Christian. Let's hope he can work some magic with him. I never thought I'd be wishing for Grey to start ordering me around again, but I almost miss it. "

Welch shook his head in disbelief, "I am going to remind you you said that."

Luke shrugged, "It will probably come back to bite me, but he was never confused. He gave orders and you followed them. Life was simple. "

At the Moving Company, both Flynn and Grey had a rough night. First Grey had a nightmare about Elena's death. They had a long talk about Christian's relationship with Elena. Flynn pointed out the maternal aspects of the relationship. Christian did not appreciate it and denied that he ever looked at Elena as a mother figure. He was adamant. "Flynn, she was just someone I fucked. I never thought of her as a mother."

"Christian, when you were rescued, who was the first person you called?"

"Elena."

"Why not Grace?"

"I knew someone would notify Grace but I didn't think anyone would let Elena know I was safe. I didn't want her to worry."

"Why didn't you call Ana?"

"I didn't think I needed to. "

"You didn't think Ana would worry?"

"Its been seven months, Flynn. I figured she had moved on . Turns out I was right. "

"You think she and Taylor had a fling?"

"Why not? I was declared dead, wasn't I?"

"Did you ever see any sign that Taylor was attracted to her?"

"I don't want to talk about fucking Taylor. "

"Christian, I have talked with both Ana and Taylor. Right up until the night before you were found, they both were still insisting you were alive. To be perfectly honest, they were each so certain of it, I was concerned they were becoming delusional. Ana said repeatedly, she would know if you died. She had dreams where she heard you calling Taylor's name. He had similar dreams. I would really like it if we could have a sit down session with you and Taylor. You both need to clear up the assumptions and misconceptions between you."

"Fuck, Flynn, don't you get it? He slept with Ana, every fucking night for months. He admits it. "

"How does that make you feel, Christian?

"I want to fucking kill the two of them."

"Its not like she was your wife. You only knew each other 3-4 weeks."

" She said she loved me." Christian replied in a heartbroken voice.

"Did you love her?" Flynn asked gently.

"Don't be ridiculous, John. How could I love someone? I am not capable of love."

"In your own words, Christian, don't be ridiculous. Of course you are capable of love. From everything I know and what you have told me in previous sessions, I believe you loved Ana just as much, if not more than she loved you. You had an extremely active sex life with Ana. Did that concern you while you were away, to use your euphemism?"

"I understand why she turned to Taylor. I don't want to talk about it anymore. "

"Okay, Christian. Why don't we try to get back to sleep. "

About an hour later, Christian woke up from a second nightmare. This time Flynn was calling his name and when he opened his eyes and saw Flynn, he burst into sobs. Flynn held him, careful not to touch him anywhere in the no-go zone. It turned out the second nightmare was a repeat of the first, only this time it featured Ana ordering him up the stairs at gunpoint and Ana being shot in the head. Christian found seeing Ana's skull shattered much more difficult than seeing Elena suffer the same death. When Grey asked Flynn what it meant, Flynn responded, "That is something I want you to think about. Okay, Christian? Now try and go back to sleep. If you can't sleep, than think about what we have talked about."

I


	15. Chapter 15

It was Christian Grey's third day back in civilization. It was John Flynn's third day away from his family. He vowed he would not let another night pass without his wife by his side sleeping in his own bed. Promptly at one pm, Welch appeared to bring both Flynn and Grey to Escala.

Sawyer was driving and stayed with the SUV. Ryan was point and Reynolds brought up the rear. Sawyer held open the door for Grey and acknowledged him with a simple "Sir." Repeated again for Dr. Flynn. No one spoke on the ride home.

Christian found himself nervous about returning to Escala and knowing that just made him angry. He may have been angry at himself, but he wanted to shout at everyone around him. Instead, he said nothing. He knew Flynn was watching his every move. Once in the parking garage, Sawyer let everyone off by the elevator. Ryan provided the security escort while Sawyer and Reynolds parked the vehicles. Welch got a phone call and signaled for the others to go up without him. The call was from Christians father, Carrick Grey. He was demanding access to his son. Welch explained for the one hundredth time, that Christian was still refusing to see anyone besides his psychiatrist , that was making strides in his recovery but was still very fragile. He hoped today to find out more information about how he had survived. If that was successful, he would call Carrick later and share that info. Welch made a personal note that Carrick Grey did not ask about Ana. Mr Grey also wanted to know about Schneiderman and why he was so involved. There were rumors swirling in the media that he had taken over GEH. Welch pleaded ignorance to any aspect of the business and referred Grey to Ros. Carrick just swore then and explained Ros was not taking his calls or returning them. Finally, Welch was able to end the call.

Ending the call didn't end the problem. He knew all about Schneiderman and the deal Ana made with him. He also knew that Grey knew nothing about that deal. Not even Ros was anxious to share that news, but she was ready and bugging Welch for a face- to- face with Grey. God, how the hell do you tell the poor bastard he's about to lose everything? This was not going to be a good day.

Upstairs in the penthouse, Gail had set up a lovely lunchtime for everyone. From caprese salad and mini pizzas to soup and subs followed by a delicious cheesecake, there was something for everyone. Afterwards it was agreed Sawyer, Welch, Flynn and Grey would meet back in the great room at three o'clock.

Welch arranged for meeting to be recorded through existing security cameras. A live feed would be sent to Taylor. An edited copy would go to Grey's parents and Ros. There was no point in having Grey have to relive the agony of being alone for seven months.

At three o'clock everyone was gathered in the great room. Gail had set up coffee, juice and water on the breakfast bar. In the great room itself, a fancy bar cart loaded with expensive scotch, bourbon, brandy and rye and various other types of alcohol was positioned by one end of the leather sectional. Beside it sat another cart filled with ice and glasses.

Flynn started the meeting off with an invitation for everyone to have a drink and toast Christian's good health now that he was home. Flynn watched Grey carefully and kept notes. Grey started out slow. It was a routine meeting at the university in Portland. Taylor's daughter had been rushed to the ER so he had told him he didn't need him; the university could pick him up and provide security as well. The meeting went well and actually finished up about thirty minutes early. Once in the air again, Grey decided to swing by Mt Rainier. It was an unusually clear day and visibility seemed endless. There was a cabin by a small lake that Christian had visited as a child with his grandfather. They had taken a float plane and pulled up to a small dock. The cabin was just one room. Every few days the float plane would return to see if they were ready to go home but neither Grandfather Trevalian or Christian were in a hurry to leave.

Christians grandfather taught Christian as much as he could in two weeks. He taught him how to make a campfire, how to start it without matches. He taught him how to make a bow and arrow from scratch and how to hunt with it. He showed him how to skin a rabbit and how to cook it. He taught him to fish and how to clean the fish and prepare them over a campfire. For Christian, it was an eye opening experience. His family was wealthy. They had servants. He found peace in the solitude of the woods. He found satisfaction in snaring a rabbit and turning it into a meal. He was shocked to find a common wild flower, Queen Ann's Lace was actually a primitive carrot that dated back to the pilgrims.

Who knew those two weeks spent in the deep woods would provide the knowledge that kept him alive when his chopper crashed. Christian explained how the engines suddenly went on fire and the only thing that saved him was his low altitude. His ankle had been broken. It eventually healed but left a permanent limp. He stayed with the chopper for over a month, but no one ever came. At this point, Welch interrupted and explained the search followed his flight plan, the side trip to Mt Rainier was not included and no where near the flight plan.

Grey acknowledged leaving his flight plan and going off on his own was the biggest mistake he ever made. Then he finally asked the question Welch had been dreading. "So why the hell was Schneiderman searching for me?"


	16. Chapter 16

Grey repeated his question when it was apparent no one was going to answer. "Welch, are you listening? Why was Schneiderman, one of my biggest rivals, out there searching for me? Where the hell were you? Did you even bother? Maybe you just felt if my family had me declared dead, what the hell, who wants to look for a dead guy. Is that it?"

"Uh, no sir. Certainly not. We never stopped searching for you. The National Guard even looked for you. Unfortunately, we were all looking in the wrong area. "

"Schneiderman wasn't looking in the wrong area. How is that Welch? Which brings me back to my _original_ question. What the fuck was Schneiderman doing looking for me?"

No one answered. The elevator pinged. An apparent nursed pushed Taylor into the into the room. He sat pale and motionless, his face an emotionless mask. Silently, Grey and Taylor stared at eavh other. Finally, Taylor spoke, "I believe I can answer that."

Grey stood, and Taylor muttrred something to the nurse and both men headed for Christian's study. Sawyer grinned at the silent communication between the two men. His grin was short lived when Taylor barked at him, "Why hasn't Franco been here? He should have had him here five minutes after you walked through the door. His mother shouldn't have to see him looking like a wild man. There's no excuse, Sawyer, just do your damn job. Now get Franco over here and his hair cut and his nails done."

* * *

"Christian," Flynn called.

Grey turned, "It's okay, John. We'll be fine. "

Flynn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, Christian. I'll trust you. Remember, he had surgery two days ago and coded twice. Be gentle."

Taylor followed Grey into his study and the door closed.

"Shit!" Swore Sawyer.

"Fucking shit!" Swore Welch.

Grey sat down behind his desk. He looked at the door and Taylor reached over and locked the door. He looked at Grey, who silently approved.

"Taylor, I believe the floor is yours."

"There is so much I want to tell you, so much I need to tell you and so little time. Let's start with Schneiderman. Four months into your disappearance, he made a play for a hostile takeover. He was able to buy enough of your debt to make a serious move. "

"How the fuck could that happen?"

"You have to remember, this was a company whose staff was reeling. they respected you, they were loyal to you and they trusted you. Suddenly, you're gone and in your place is a twenty one year old girl who knows jack shit about business. People were grieving, they let things slide. Others were resentful, and refused to assist her. Ros was great. Ana was smart and she learned but it was all a little too late. Ros explained if she fought him, he would destroy the company and she would be left with nothing.

She had us give her everything we could find on Schneiderman and decided to make him a counter offer.

You see, sir, your father was certain that if you were declared dead, your will would have him in a significant power position not Ana. He also truly believed the authorities, who were certain you could not have survived. Your family needed closure. Your mother was taking it exceptionally Hard. Your father felt if he couldn't provide her with closure, he would lose her. He tried to do the best for his family that he could with the information that was available. Furthermore,with you being declared dead, getting any kind of organized search on going became more and more difficult. Those who did search tended to be just going through the motions. The people who were still searching were the die-hards, your closest associates and your security. So Ana came up with a plan."

"Something tells me I'm not going to like this, am I Taylor?"

"Perhaps, sir. She negotiated a private agreement with Schneiderman. You need to understand that at that point we still had nothing. No wreckage, no emergency beacon, nothing. She offered Schneiderman GEH for one dollar if he could find the wreckage and your body. She told him she would fight him to the end she would never give up GEH and that she would destroy it before anyone else but you ran it. She was serious and he knew it but he's a cocky bastard. The chance of getting your company for a dollar was too great a temptation. He brought in a huge cash influx to the search. New eyes and ears that were motivated. He expanded the search area way beyond what it had originally been. He had only ninety days to find you. You were rescued on the last day "

"Had Ana spoken with him since I was found?"

"Sir?" Taylor asked, confused.

"Its not a hard question, Taylor. I don't know where you have her holed up, but surely you know if they have spoken. "

"Sir," he hesitated then and looked up at the photograph of a beautiful, carefree Ana hanging on the wall. His eyes began to tear. He shook his head and started again. "Sir, Ana suffered a life threatening brain injury at the hands of Isaac. She's had part of her skull removed to prevent brain damage from swelling. Currently, she's at University Medical Center in a coma listed in critical condition. "

Grey sat back and closed his eyes. After a long silence he let out a long breath and asked,

"Who's with her?"

"Williams and Hayes are covering the door. She's still in a Neuro ICU."

"No, Taylor, who is with her?"

Taylor cast his eyes down and answered softly, "No one, sir."

"Fuck! Get Sawyer in here."

Taylor sent Sawyer a text requesting his presence. Then he reached and with a grimace and unlocked the door.

Luke walked into the study and said,"Sir?"

"Are you Ana's close security?"

"Yes sir."

"Then what the fuck are you doing here? Leave the other two guys on the door. I want you in the room 24/7. She's not to be alone ever. "

"Sir, its not Seattle Grace; we don't have the same pull there. They won't put her in a private room and they wont let me in the ICU."

"I'll take care of it. Go."

Taylor looked down at his phone as it vibrated in his hand. "Franco is here."

"Tell him five minutes. "

Taylor texted Welch with Grey's message.

"Taylor, I know you need to rest but before you go and lay down, I want your personal take on the current situation."

"Now that its known you're alive, its never been more serious. This situation is far from over. Elena was involved but she was not the puppetmaster. We need to step very carefully and trust no one. "

"I may not be speaking to my family but I don't want to be responsible for anyone being hurt. How much danger do you think they're in?"

"Its difficult to say, but I think security on them needs to be upped."

"I'll let Welch know and personally contact my parents."

"They love you, sir."

"I know. Thank you for explaining. I think I understand. I may not agree but I understand."

One last thing. Call Ros and ask her to bring the Schneiderman file at five o'clock. Explain she has my undivided attention from five to six and then she is welcome to enjoy dinner with me. "

"She'll be happy to hear that, sir." Taylor replied with a slight grin.

"We're done for now. Don't think I am letting you off the hook. You still owe me an explanation about Ana. Not today, we have too much to deal with. Go take your pain medication and have that nurse help you get into bed. You look like hell, Taylor. "

Grey stood and pushed Taylor out of the study to the waiting nurse. As she wheeled him away, he could hear Grey's raised voice talking to Andrea, "of course its me. Who the fuck do you think it is? Get me the head honcho for University Medical Center."

Taylor smiled, things were getting back to normal.


	17. Chapter 17

Christian got off the phone with Andrea and walked outside to the great room. "John, go home to Rhiann and your family. There's a lot going on now that I have to deal with. "

"Did Taylor..."

"No. We'll discuss that at a later time. He did bring me up to date on Ana and Schneiderman though. Ros is on her way over and we'll tel - conference with my legal team. "

"You'll call me if you need me?"

"Count on it, John. Thank you so much for everything. I am so sorry you were injured. Did the Moving Company provide you with a doctor and appointment?"

"Yes, Christian. They were very thorough and explained why I can't see my regular doctor."

"Good. I'll have Reynolds take you home. " then he looked at Welch and said, "See that Reynolds takes him home . Where's Franco? "

An hour later, a freshly groomed Christian prepared to greet Ros. What he was not expecting was her breaking down into near hysterical sobs. Ros was tough. He had never seen her cry or even come close to crying.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe you're alive. She was right, god damn it. We all thought she was crazy. "

"Who?"

"Who?" Ros repeated, "Ana, of course. She always said she would know if you were dead. She knew you were out there somewhere and not being able to find you nearly drove her insane. She couldn't eat, she couldn't swallow. If it wasn't for Taylor, you would have lost her. He made her protein drinks, and smoothies. He was always there for her, catching her when she fainted, holding her when she cried. I can't believe she survived all that only to end up in a coma. "

"Ros, if you don't mind, I rather not talk about Ana right now. Can I see a copy of the agreement she signed with Schneiderman?"

Ros opened a folder and showed Christian the signed and witnessed document. At first he frowned. Indeed, the document looked simple and straight forward. He looked harder. There had to be something. he couldn't believe she would so easily give up his company. Then he saw it. Her signature. Anistasia not Anastasia. So not her legal name! But not enough to void the agreement. The language in the contract was so simple, so plain, no wonder legal had advised it was unbreakable. Then he saw it. So obvious yet so invisible. 'Find his helicopter wreckage and/or proof of his final remains. '

He let out a long breath and slowly felt himself relax. Schneiderman had indeed found Charley Tango's wreckage. However, since he had survived, there was no way he could produce proof of final remains.

"Ros, do you see it?"

"Yes, Christian, I do." She replied with a grin.

"Okay, Ros. Set up a face-to-face with Schneiderman tomorrow. Reimburse him double his expenditures.I'm not attending, so make my excuses and I'll have him for dinner in the future."

"Okay. Good to see you boss. Now go take care of Ana."

Christian nodded but said nothing. He was not ready to deal with that. Instead, he dialed his mother.

"Mom?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Christian? "Oh, Christian," and then she just started to sob into the phone.

"Mom, can you and Dad come over tonight for a little bit. I am so sorry about before but there's a lot I need to explain. "

"Of course, son. We'll be there within the hour."

Seeing his parents proved more difficult than Christian expected. He tried to be nonchalant and casual but seeing their distress was unnerving. Seeing the physical changes that occurred during his absence was also deeply disturbing. Both had aged. His mom more so than his dad, but still it was unsettling. They had both lost weight. His mother cried and clung to him for the entire length of their visit.

His father just kept apologizing, over and over. He explained that all the experts told him. He wad dead. The police confirmed that no one could survive that enviroment with nothing. Having their son declared officially dead seemed to be a wise step. His mother needed to grieve and have closure. His company would fail if it depended on a twenty-one year old literature student. Carrick had been certain it was never Christian's wish to have his company permanently guided by someone so inexperienced. Hearing the will read had proven quite a shock and somewhat of a scandal in the business world. Carrick continued to apologize. Christian sat quietly between them, listening, observing but in full CEO mode. He would consider everything he had learned today. Not now, though. He could not risk any emotion now. Immediately, he thought of Elena and the images of the bullet entering het skull and blowing it away refused to leave his mind. He shook his head and then grabbed it. His mother became distraught but he assured her it was only a headache. His parents then stood to leave. Christian walked them to the elevator and as the elevators chrome door finally closed, he felt himself sag with relief.

He needed a shower and his bed. He smiled bitterly as he remembered how impossible staying clean had been in the woods. There were no hot showers there.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning, Welch and Taylor kept up a steady stream of texting. Considering the threat level against Grey, they both agreed Grey would not be going into the office that day. Unfortunately, Grey did not agree. He had slept very little and had another nightmare with Ana dying instead of Elena. He had tried playing the piano only to find himself caught in the same nightmare loop of gunfire, Ana's shocked expression and then her head exploding. The three men were arguing back and forth when Welch got a text from Sawyer. Security had been breached. Ana's condition was uncertain. Williams was down, Hayes was missing. Sawyer was injured and requesting immediate backup.

While Welch set the wheels in motion to increase security for Ana, Grey stopped arguing about going to work. He wanted to go to the hospital. He wanted to see Ana, but at the same time, he didn't want to see her. What if she didn't want him anymore? What if she just wanted Taylor? Why would anyone want a fucked up piece of shit like himself when they could have Taylor? What the fuck ever happened to Gail? Shit. Looks like he wasn't the only one who had a problem with Taylor's sleeping arrangements.

Taylor wanted to go to the hospital and see Ana. His nurse was adamant. He was going nowhere. He wasn't getting dressed. The oxygen and IV and foley catheter were not being removed and if he tried to get out of bed once more, he would find himself sedated for twenty four hours. The Moving Company had treated him in the past and were aware what a uncooperative patient he could be. His injuries were serious.

Taylor sighed; maybe now was a good time to talk with Grey, so he sent him a text and invited him to his bedroom.

He didn't come right away. The old Grey would have been there in seconds. So much of him was the same but so much of him was different. Taylor waited nervously but still no Grey. The nurse came and gave him his pain medication through the IV. Taylor tried to protest but knew she wouldn't budge. He swore under his breath as he felt the rush of the Fentanyl and his eyes rolled back. Almost instantly the constant throbbing pain in his shoulder ebbed. He let out a deep breath, unaware he had been holding his breath. So stupid, really, but than he had done some really stupid shit lately. How could he expect Grey to understand when he, himself, didn't understand. Half out of it, he heard the knock and Grey entering.

Taylor looked up and met Grey's eyes. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Shit. Fuck it. He was tired of carrying all this shit inside. Some things Grey had to know. It couldn't be put off.

Grey pushed a wing back upholstered chair closer to the bed and sat down. "How are you feeling, Jason?"

"I'll do. But 'Shezilla' has already medicated me so I need to start because I don't know how long I'll last."

Grey nodded his understanding.

The first month was hard, really hard on everyone. I couldn't believe we couldn't find the crash site. Between me and Ros, we called in every favor from everyone we ever knew, but it all came to a big nothing.

Ana was in a daze. She took a leave from her job at SIP and started doing half days with Ros, per your Instructions if you were incapacitated or incommunicado for more than forty eight hours. Weekends were spent searching for you. Sawyer stayed with her as close security and Welch and myself tried to figure out why the fuck we couldn't find you. Your mother had become very depressed and blamed Ana for the crash. Her reasoning was you were in such a hurry to be by her side, you became careless. Of course, Elena helped reinforce your mother's opinion of Ana whenever she could and that was pretty damn often.

The sharks were circling GEH and attacking whenever they could. The media discussed the end of GEH every fucking night, guessing who would eventually end up with it and if it would have any value. Your father was not pleased. He was never happy about you having Ana temporary Power of Attorney. Your parents became convinced she was a gold digger. They even began to suspect she had something to do with the crash. It was all so ridiculous. Everyone was hurting. Your father was beyond furious. He saw the family's inheritance being frittered away by a stranger. Where they may have been impressed with her initially, that all changed. Your father decided to have you declared dead. He was certain she wouldn't be mentioned in your Will and everything would revert to the way he expected things to be.

On Sunday, August 21 he drove out to the site the security team was searching. We had fifty people searching privately for us that weekend. Ana and Sawyer always stayed in base camp. There was also a small team there to prepare meals and keep things organized.

Physically and mentally, Ana was exhausted. She couldn't sleep without nightmares. She couldn't eat and had to be constantly reminded to drink. She had gotten into a habit of fainting but refused to see a doctor. It was the fainting that made me think she might be pregnant. I bought a few tests and they all came up positive. We kept it between us. She didn't want anyone else to know. Not even Sawyer or Gail. Being pregnant with your child gave her a reason for living. Then your father showed up.

I wasn't there but Sawyer says he was anything but gentle. He announced you had been officially declared dead. There would be a family memorial on Wednesday, August 24, after which your will would be read. He advised her she would have thirty days to leave Escala, not a day more. When she protested that you were still alive, he laughed and said he would have her declared mentally incompetent.

After he left, she asked to be alone. She went in her tent and didn't come out. Sawyer had notified me by satellite phone what was going on. I made my way back to find an ashen Sawyer rocking a distraught Ana. Within the hour, she miscarried. She refused to leave camp that night, so Sawyer and I stayed with her.

By sunset the camp was empty except for two sentries guarding the vehicles and watching out for paparazzi. I offered an IPhone box to place the fetus. Ana cut off a small piece of her silk teddy and placed it in the iPhone box. Baby Grey was less than 2 inches long. You could see his little fingers and toes, his eyes but no sex. Then she cut off some of your undershirts that she slept in and ever so gently covered Baby Grey. We weren't sure of the sex but Ana wanted Baby Grey to be near you, somehow.

Sawyer and I dug the grave. We all said a private prayer and then, together, The Lords Prayer. We marked the location with GPS and then filled in the dirt and coveted the site with small rocks and stones. Sawyer found a larger rock and carried it over to use as a marker. Night was falling fast as I carried her back to camp with Sawyer leading the way with a flashlight. She didn't talk, she didn't move. She wouldn't respond to either of us.

She was alive, and still bleeding, but her will to live was gone. Between your father and the miscarriage, she was done. I could feel it when I carried her. Her eyes were lifeless. We brought her to our tent because she needed cleaning up. I got a tarp down and then clean towels and laid her on top. Sawyer brought hot water that had cooled after boiling and I cleaned her up down there. I found some surgical pads in the surgical kit and place them under her. I could tell the bleeding was easing up but it was still unnerving. Give me a gunshot wound any day and I can handle it, but hemorrhage from a miscarriage? Definitely not my area of expertise. That was the first night we slept together. "

I hadn't been watching Grey. I probably should have. I have never talked about that day with anyone, even Sawyer. I kept staring up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears while I told him what happened. Remembering everything, the mosquitoes, the cry of a hawk nearby, the feel and smell of the dark moist dirt. I remembered it all like it happened yesterday, not five months ago.

Suddenly, Grey had his hands around my neck. "Why the fuck didn't you rush her to a hospital?" He demanded with tears running down his face. Then he dropped his head to my chest and cried.

Taylor tried to continue buts his eyelids were growing heavier with every passing second. " We couldn't have contained it. Rumors were everywhere, the media was handing out checks for five and six figures like candy. NDA's were being completely ignored. Everything had gone south without you at the helm. By mid afternoon of the next day, her bleeding had slowed to a small trickle. I dressed her and carried her to the car but she was still unresponsive. That's when I called Flynn." Taylor's words were coming slower and slower. Then they just stopped as his eyes closed.


	19. Chapter 19

Flynn knew? Fucking Flynn knew Ana was pregnant and lost our child and didn't tell me? I am so fucking angry, I can't think. Who the fuck does he think he is? What is he, fucking God? How dare he not tell me. He pretends to be my friend and then he keeps shit like this from me. Fuck! I want to rip his fucking head off his body. I bury my face in my hands and feel the tears. Tears of shame. Here I am a fucking billionaire and my baby dies in the woods with a fucking security guard in attendance and gets buried in an unmarked grave in a fucking IPhone box. I look at Taylor sleeping and try to get control of myself. Breathe, in and out. Breathe, in and out, I repeat it to myself like a mantra. Slowly, I regain control. I leave Taylors room, frightened because I know there is so much more we need to discuss. Frightened because I know I am not dealing with the majority of what he told me. I need to see Ana. At first, I never wanted to see her again. The pain I felt at her betrayal with Taylor was indescribable. I remember Elena's words, 'some people aren't met for love. You are one of them. 'I can't count the number of times she said ' love is for fools. '

Who do I trust now? There's no one left. I don't trust Dad, I need to learn more about his actions while I was away. I wouldn't ever involve mom in this shit. Elena is dead. Ana is in a coma. Taylor was once my go-to guy, but not now. I have fucking no one. Karma. Life is fucking me over for all the people I have fucked over. Shit.

I walk out f the staff area and down the hall to the Great Room. I meet Welch coming out of security. He greets me and then let's me know my brother is coming up in the elevator.

I stop. I feel my heart race and my breathing pick up. Why is he coming here? Why?I didn't invite him here. My anxiety is going through the roof. I step back and feel the wall behind me. Welch said something as he passed me to greet Elliot. I suddenly feel terrified. It makes me remember the dark frightening nights I spent in the woods, all alone, hurt, cold and in pain. Everything so black, you can see nothing. Somehow, the hallway in Escala has disappeared and I am back in that woods in dark black nighttime. I can hear animals scuttling in the underbrush. I can hear something grunt not too far off. Suddenly, I scream as loud as I can, "Taylor! Help me!" but just like always, Taylor never comes. I squeeze my eyes shut and try so hard not to cry. I pray as hard as I can, but God knows better than to listen to a bastard me. I am alone.

Suddenly , I feel arms go around me, just my shoulders. My hallucinations are getting out of hand. I hear a familiar voice calling me. I stand mutely, tears streaming down my face, amazed at what the mind can do to provide comfort. Then, I feel a hand on my face, wiping the tears away. I smell something familiar and begin to listen, really listen.

"Christian, its me, Elliot. Its okay. You're safe. I am with you. No one is going to hurt you. Christian, its me. Open your eyes. C'mon bro. C'mon!"

Slowly I open my eyes and there is my goofy brother. My hands are trembling. I need him. I need to feel him. I wrap my arms around him and bring him close. I hold on for dear life, tight and hard with all my strength. Nothing will ever separate us again, I vow to myself as I bury my head in his shoulder and sob uncontrollably. He holds me close and for the first time since the crash, I feel safe.

I dont remember how long we stood there, holding each other, crying, but it was a long time. It took Gail to pull us apart when she announced there food and drinks in the Great Room, if we would like. I smiled as Elliot eagerly broke away and followed Gail to the food, dragging me along.

We ended up sitting at the breakfast bar, just like old times. Gail had made me chicken noodle coup and a grilled cheese sandwich. The doctors still wanted me on a light diet. They act like I was starving. I ate more days than not, usually or rabbit or squirrel. I had fish sometimes. When the snares came up empty and there was nothing to eat, I'd suck on grass or a small pebble. I drank a lot of tea those days. I didn't know what the leaves were but it didn't matter.

Guilt suddenly swamps me. I can't remember thinking about Elliot while I was away. How can that be? He is my fucking brother! Why would I call for Taylor when I have a brother like Elliot. I am such a dumb fuck. I smile at him between bites of my grilled cheese and say,"Lleliott!" We both grin like idiots.


	20. Chapter 20

Elliot was enjoying his visit with Christian. It was going so much better than he had expected. He decided not to ask Christian why Kate had not been allowed to visit with Ana today, or what was going on with Schneiderman. In fact, Elliot decided not to ask him a damn thing. Just seeing Christian start to relax was more important. So he spent the afternoon telling his little brother goofy stories, mostly about himself or Mia, making him laugh. Although Christians posture was more relaxed, his constantly shifting eyes revealed his inner nervousness. Elliot sighed, knowing Christians recovery was going to take time.

Welch came into the room and reminded Christian the security meeting was in ten minutes and Flynn would be by in forty five minutes. Elliot stood, knowing it was time to go. They embraced once more, Christian befuddled by his lack of reaction to being hugged hard against his chest. Elliot noticed it but figured Christians brain had decided there were more important things to worry about than whether is chest or back was touched.

After seeing Elliot to the elevator, he visited his visited the bathroom and then freshened up. He then grabbed a fresh glass of juice and headed for the security office. In the hallway he saw Sawyer pushing Taylor's wheelchair. Once everyone was seated, Welch began. The sharks nibbling on GEH were beginning to back off, but specific personal attacks were continuing and it was becoming increasingly apparent that security was being targeted. Yesterday, Mia had been shopping. On the way back to her car, her purse had been stolen. Her close security had managed to restrain the thief but not without consequences. He had been shot twice in the lower abdomen and was in critical condition. The thief then fled, leaving the purse behind.

Back and forth everyone discussed what was going on and who could be behind it. Nothing helpful came from the discussion. Then Taylor came up with a suggestion.

"If whoever did this isn't someone we suspect, then we need to start looking a lot closer at the people we don't suspect."

Welch nodded. "Okay. Names. You start Taylor. Give me a name."

"Schneiderman."

"Why? He rescued him "

"He has the money and the influence. He has a history with Grey. He has the ego to think he could get away with it."

"Okay. Sawyer?"

"Schneiderman. He is the only one with means and besides, I hate the way he looks at Ana."

Grey's head popped up but he said nothing.

"Anybody else? No? Alright, I'll add one more name. Ros. She has the money and she has the knowledge. I'll start new lines of investigation into both of them. Are there any other concerns?"

Taylor let out a long breath and said softly, "Yeah. We have too many borrowed and temp security working for us now. Plain and simple, right now our security is shit. Add to that weakness, the whole friggin world knows Grey is holed up in Escala and that his security team has been descimated. Bottom line, I don't feel safe in Escala. The guy Sawyer put down in Ana's room was a professional hit man from Serbia. He didn't come cheap. Why hire a hit man to kill someone in a coma that may very well die anyway? Ana must know something. Someone obviously isn't willing to take the chance that she might survive. I think we need to move from Escala and maybe be more careful about exactly what info we share with Ros. "

"Taylor." Grey addressed his head of security. "Ros has been with me from the beginning. I can't believe she could possibly have anything to do with this mess or my accident. "

" I am sure you are right, sir. It doesn't hurt to check though."

"I suppose not." Grey admitted reluctantly.

"Good," Welch announced, "Because Flynn is here."

"Shit." Taylor swore. "Where's bitchilla and her magic meds when you need her?"

Everyone laughed.

"Its not friggin funny! Come on, Sawyer. I can't push this thing with one hand. Get me back."

"Sit down, Luke. His nurse is off duty until five pm and he's not due any pain medication before six. "

Taylor let out a string of curses and everyone laughed. Just then the elevator pinged and Welch stood to go greet Flynn. Striding quickly, he greeted the psychiatrist, whose left arm was still in a sling, with a warm smile and then escorted him into Grey's study.

"I have reports on Taylor and Sawyer, but I need to know from you, how are all three of my favorite patients?"

Welch didn't hesitate for one second. "They're having nightmares. All three. I knew Grey has always had bad nightmares but I personally never experienced them. Gail says these are worse, that they last longer and he doesn't turn to the piano for relief as he did in the past.

"Interesting." Commented Flynn. "What about Sawyer?"

"Gail said she never heard him have a nightmare before. I gave instructions that no one should try to wake him other than calling his name from the doorway and turning on the lights. "

"I agree. He's built like a bull and strong as an ox. He could do some serious damage inadvertently. Now I said I had a report on Taylor. The nurse is very upset. He broke three stitches last night. They were surface stitches, not a big deal but he had a lot of blood vessel repair with a small tear in the aorta. If he were to yank any of that repair work before its healed, its debatable whether or not he'd survive. His nurse is requesting full sedation while he sleeps. I need to discuss this with her because he can have nightmares when he is awake and what will she do then?"

"Duck?" Welch asked, jokingly.

Flynn ignored him and continued , "Regarding Sawyer, did he call out anything? Perhaps a name?"

"I head him yell Ana twice. That's it. "

"Interesting." Flynn said softly. "How about Grey? Did he holler out anything?"

"Mr Grey was the most verbal. Aside from the profanity which was abundant, he called out to Ana, begging her to come back. He mentioned Taylor repeatedly, again calling him, asking for his help."

"Anyone else?"

"No, but there was another dream later where all he kept saying is no. He didn't say anything else, just no. "

Flynn thought it over. All three patients had nightmares involving Ana. Interesting."

"Thank you, Welch. I appreciate your input. How are you holding up?"

Welch groaned. "Taylor better heal fast and get his ass back in gear. I can deal with Grey on the phone but in person, 24/7, lets just say its not my forte." He said with a sly grin. "Seriously, when you consider how many years he's been with Grey, and that up to now, they always got along, its mind boggling. "

"Don't worry, Welch. We'll get those two back where they belong. Have faith."

Both men stood and returned to the Great Room. Flynn made eye contact with each man and smiled, "Who's first?" He asked. No one responded. "Come on guys, I don't bite. " Flynn caught the tiniest nod towards Sawyer. Taylor nodded back and looked at Sawyer. He stared hard at him, waiting for him to look up. Finally he did, saw Taylor's glare, and swore under his breath. He looked at Flynn and started to stand. "Looks like you're stuck with me, Doc. "

"That will be fine, Luke. We're using your study, is that correct, Christian?"

Christian nodded and Flynn and Sawyer disappeared into the study."

"So can I call you Luke? And you can call me John. " Flynn offered, extending his hand.

"Now is there anything you would like to talk about? Anything at all? Everything you say in here is confidential. I can't and I won't divulge it to anyone. "

"I suppose you're here because I've been in some deadly situations recently."

"That's right, Luke. I am sure you were faced with more life and death decisions in the last few days than most men are in a lifetime. It would be extraordinary if you are not suffering some kind of reaction."

"Sorry to disappoint, Doc, but I am a professional. Feelings don't get into it. I am trained to evaluate the situation and react. They were all do or die situations. "

"I understand, Luke. How is the pain and nausea ?"

"Getting better everyday. "

"And your sleeping?"

"I'm fine, Doc. I get my eight hours plus some. "

"I understand you been having nightmares. "

"Who the fuck told you that?"

"It doesn't matter who told me. Would you like to discuss them?"

"Hell, no. They're private. And they're not nightmares, they are more like vivid dreams. At least most of them. "

"That's fine, Luke. Is there one dream that stands out?" Flynn asked as he watches Luke twist in his seat, staring down at his hands, debating whether or not to answer.

"There is one dream that bothers me. I don't understand it."

"Why don't you tell me about it Luke."

"It's about when I shot Elena. I'm on the staircase behind them, my gun out, and call to her. from the back, its definitely Elena, the blond hair, everything. Then she turns and its Ana. She raises her gun and I call out 'Ana!' But she fires anyway and I wake up "

"What do you think that means, Luke?"

"I'm a bodyguard, not a shrink. I have no idea what it means."

"This isn't a test, Luke. There are no wrong answers. "

Luke shrugged his shoulders and looked away.

"Tell me, Luke, do you have feelings for Ana? It would perfectly normal if you did."

Luke paled, grabbed his head as if in pain, then jumped up, stuck his head in a waste basket and threw up his lunch. Flynn offered him some tissues, which he accepted and a bottle of water, which he refused.

"I'm sorry, Doc. I don't feel good. I need to lay down. "

"Of course, Luke. Feel better. We can speak more tomorrow. "

Luke nodded and left.

Taylor and Grey watched a pale, trembling Luke leave Grey's study. Then they watched Flynn walk out carrying a the plastic liner from a waste basket that was filled with apparent vomit.

"Fuck! He made him vomit! Shit. Did he ever make you vomit sir?"

"Relax, Taylor. It was probably related to his concussion. "

"Sir, please, did you ever vomit with him?"

Grey considered the countless times he had upchucked into the black cylindrical container with the black plastic liner. If Taylor ever knew, he'd be tossing his cookies right now. He looked over at Taylor and watched his hopeful expression change.

"Oh, fuck, you did. You threw up with him?"

"Not with him, Taylor; more like in front of him."

"Shit. Good thing you're going next. "

"I am going last Taylor. You guys are going to wear him out for me. "

"It doesn't matter what either one of us wants. He is going to make you go next. All I ask is you please don't puke ."

"You're going next Taylor and as far as I am concerned you can vomit as much as you like ."

Flynn started walking back to the study with a mug of tea. He looked at both men and said simply,"Christian, you're next "

Grey stood and glared at Taylor. Taylor smirked and as Grey was about to enter the study, called out,"Remember, no puking!" Then he laughed as Grey slammed the door shut.

Grey sat down on the sofa and relaxed. Speaking with John Flynn was as much a part of his normal routine as brushing his teeth.

"Christian." He greeted Grey.

"John." Grey returned.

"You seem to be getting on better with Taylor. "

"We're both trying. "

"Have you talked any more with him?"

"No. He's been too medicated. "

"He seemed pretty lucid right now. "

"Yes he does. "

"Well, than what I'd like to do is have a joint session with both of you and discuss some the difficult subjects that you're both avoiding. "

"Uh, I'm not so sure either one of us are up for that. "

Flynn just smiled and went out to wheel Taylor in. When Taylor realized what Flynn had in mind, he started to protest. Flynn laid a hand on his good shoulder. It has to be done Jason. You're both suffering. Taylor dreaded this. He didn't want to hurt Grey. He felt his eyes tear up and slumped down in the chair. He didn't want Grey to know, he didn't want Flynn to know, he didn't want anyone to know about him and Ana.


	21. Chapter 21

Once back inside the study, Flynn switched up the seating arrangements, putting Grey in his executive chair behind his desk and Flynn taking a seat on the couch with Taylor's wheelchair sort of off to the side. Before sitting, Flynn handed each man a plastic bottle of water. Taylor opened his and gulped some down nervously. Grey placed his on the desk unopened.

Flynn sat down and began to speak, "I know that this is difficult for both of you, but it needs to be done. If at any time, either of you find yourself needing a break, just say so. Taylor is going to share his relationship with Ana after you, Christian, were publicly and officially declared dead. " he nodded at Taylor to start.

"Ana was in a bad place. She had been struggling to go on without you. She had lost weight, couldn't eat and barely slept. Mostly she cried. In the beginning, the time she spent with Ros was just a waste. She wasn't capable of really focusing on anything, except her need for you. I told you yesterday about the miscarriage. She went straight downhill after that. She laid in your closet and just sobbed. She brought photos of you into the closet and had them taped up everywhere. They were like wallpaper. We tried to get her to sleep in the bed but she refused. So everyone turned in. I couldn't sleep, I don't know why but I decided to get up. I was just in my boxers and decided to check the alarms while I was up. I stepped into the security office and automatically started looking at the feeds, and see Ana headed to the kitchen wearing one of your white undershirts. I was hopeful she was going to get something to eat, but food wasn't what she was after.

She pulled a ten inch butcher knife out of the knife block and headed back to the master. I know as soon as I see her draw it out, she plans to use that knife on herself. My mind is racing, trying to think what to do. There is no time! Somehow, I have to talk with her and get her to give up the knife. I walk quickly to the master, snagging a bottle of Bowmore scotchon the way. Outside the door to the master, I get an idea. I break the seal, open the scotch and take a long drag on it. It burns but damn its smooth. I then slowly open the door and shut it gently behind me. I head straight for the closet and pray I am not too late. I open the closet door. She doesn't look up just says,"Go away, Taylor. "

The knife is nowhere to be seen, but I know its there, somewhere. I open the scotch and take another long pull. I look at all the pictures of you and its all starting to get to me. Tears are running down my face and I offer her the scotch. She accepts and I slide to the floor beside her. She takes a big sip and then splutters and chokes and coughs most of it out. I can't help but smile and pull her close to my naked chest. We didn't talk. We just sat on the floor with my arm around her holding her close to me, letting her know she is safe. Eventually, she gets up to use the bathroom. I take that time to find the fucking knife. She has it hid inside a boot. I leave it there. I sip some more from the bottle. I remember being surprised how low it was. I broke the seal on it so I know it was full when we started. I stagger to my feet and decide I need to take a leak as well. We literally bump into each other as she exits the bathroom and I enter. She giggles and grabs my arms for balance, but still manages to crash into my chest. I run my hands up and down her arms then give her a shove towards the bed and head for the bathroom.

When I came out, she was still standing there, staring at the bed and crying. I put my arms around her and ask her what's wrong. She explains that she can't sleep in the bed anymore without Christian, she misses him too much.

Remember, I had been drinking. I get this brilliant idea that could only come from being drunk. I offer to pretend to be Christian. I figured she would laugh. She didn't laugh. She just kept staring at me. Suddenly, she goes back into the bathroom and comes out with his cologne.

"Can you put some of this on first?" She asks solemnly.

I nod and she hands me the bottle. I slap some on my neck and hand the bottle back.

She returns the cologne to the bathroom and comes back to my side. And puts her little hand in mine. Then she leads me to the bed.

"I need a break."Christians harsh voice interrupts me as he stands and storms out of the room.

I watch Flynn follow him out and feel guilty.


	22. Chapter 22

I don't blame the boss for leaving. I wish I could. I wish I could go back in time. I would have been there, by his side, where I was supposed to be, not listening to my ex have hysterics over my daughters stomach ache. I love my daughter but maybe I should have waited for a doctors opinion instead of my ex's opinion. Christ knows, we never agreed on anything. Why should my daughters health be any different? The bitch will probably turn her into a hypochondriac.

We would still have crashed, but I studied survival. I studied trail blazing. I always have at least two guns and two knives on me. I'm on EMT. Then I think, what if I had been badly injured. What help would I have been to him then? Everything happens for a reason. It is what is; deal with it.

Of course, that's the problem. I really don't want to deal with it. There's a knock at the door. Its Welch checking if I need anything. I almost laugh. The only thing I need is a three month supply of Valium and a six-pack of beer to wash them down. Flynn already knows that. We have an agreement. He accepts that you really can't stop someone from killing themself, if that's what they really want to do, so he's agreed not to shove my ass in some mental ward and I agreed to call him, no matter what time, day or night, before I do the deed. I can deal with that. For fucking sure, I'm not writing letters. My daughter will forget me, if she hasn't already. I know I can count on the ex to make me forgettable. I feel a hand on my arm, and look up to see Flynn's very concerned face. Behind him is the boss, with a look of horror on his face. Flynn shuts the door, forcing the boss out of the room completely. Then he hands me a box of tissues. I'm confused until I realize I've been fucking crying again. I shake my head no at the tissues and pull out a clean handkerchief. I wipe my face, blow my nose and try to figure out what the fuck happened. Right now, I feel ashamed and embarrassed as all fuck.

"Why didn't you say something?" I ask, annoyed.

"We did, Jason. We tried calling you for several minutes, but you were some place else. I was reluctant to touch you because of your injuries and I couldn't tell what memories were overwhelming you. What were you thinking?"

I hesitate long and hard before answering. Then I tell him how I had a yearning for a ninety day supply of Valium and a six pack. We look at each other and its scary. We both know he doesn't need my permission to lock me up somewhere.

"Listen, Doc, can we forget this shit for now? I really need to explain about Ana to him. "

Flynn is still crouched down, looking at me eyeball to eyeball. He doesn't answer. Finally, he says, "Okay, but after that, your ass is mine. "

I don't know what the hell Flynn means. If I really gave a shit, I'd be scared. Instead, I feel like I'm sinking into quicksand. I need to wrap this up. Flynn stands up and calls Christian back in. Good. I need to get this mission complete.

Christian sits behind his desk and looks everywhere but me. Fuck. I let out a long, uneven sigh. Flynn is watching me like a hawk

"Okay, " I begin, staring down into my hands nervously. "So, I'm wearing your cologne and she leads me to the bed. She pulls the covers down and we both stand there. Then she gets into bed and slides over. She wants her back to my front. I hear a sound from Christian that sounds like he's in pain. Suddenly I don't know if I can do this. This is their bed, their marital bed. How can I possibly sleep there with her. I hear her call me, "Please!" She begs. I think it over. I can do this. All I have to do is hold her. She already told me no sex, it was a hard limit. While I am thinking, planning ahead, I lose my balance in my drunkenness and end up smack against her ass. I throw an arm around her, under her breasts. She requests i wrap a leg around her legs. I swallow nervously again, but comply. She hits the lights. I know my heart is pounding and my breathing is rough and uneven. I listen to hers, at first it's very rapid and then it slows down, a lot. I hear her whisper, "Thank you, Taylor. " and then she's asleep. Instead of getting up and leaving her once she's asleep, I fall asleep too.

Because we were both such drunken fools that night, staying up late drinking all that scotch before we did the sleeping in the bed experiment, we sleep like the dead. Its early afternoon when we both awaken.I know immediately that any hope that we could keep our little experiment a secret is long gone. She turns over and looks at me. She is smiling.

"I slept! Taylor -I slept!" She is so happy, so relieved, I don't know how to explain the shit storm that is waiting for us. I am positive that Gail and Sawyer know exactly where I am. I am sure the cameras are back on and they are both watching. Somehow, the very idea that they think they know everything pisses me off, big time. I grab Ana closer, front to front now. She's smiling. Still. I smile back. Ana's smile does that to you. I kiss the tip her nose and then bury my face in her hair. I whisper to her the cameras are on. She stiffens for a second and then relaxes. She throws the covers back on her side, not realizing the t shirt she is wearing has ridden up to her crotch and to my great shock, she isn't wearing panties. Holy fuck. She jumps out of bed and adjusts herself like its the most normal thing in the world. I don't dare get up because if my morning wood wasn't enough of a problem, knowing I was passed out against her naked ass is a bigger problem.

I hear the shower and stay in bed. Its safe there. Ana comes out wrapped in a big towel and heads for the closet. I give her a few minutes than follow. I shut the door. The closet is huge. Before anyone interrupts us, we need to discuss the knife. She's not finished dressing, but she isn't naked.

"I know about the knife. " I say, as she drags on her jeans. I am not embarrassed and neither is she. I guess sleeping together will do that. She's already got a shirt, bra and panties on.

Her hands stop pulling up the pants. I can see the fear I. Her eyes and know she is paralyzed. She can't move, she can't talk.

"Its okay, Ana. Its going to be okay. " I step closer and finish pulling up her jeans. I zip them and button them, then I put my arms around her and just stand there and hug her. We stand there for a very ling time, just holding each other. She tries to explain how much she hurts, especially after losing the baby. She said when she got home all she wanted to do was die. She wanted to take that knife and just slice herself everywhere. I feel sick. We sit down on the floor and have a real heart to heart. I explain using a knife wouldn't be very kind to Ray. She shrugs and reluctantly agrees. Somehow, we end up making a pact. She is going to try, try hard to live for Christian, neither one of us believes he's dead, but if she decides she wants to end it all, I will do the ending for her. We don't want Ray thinking she was crazy or anything. If it comes to that, after I do her, I'll do me. In the meantime, we'll sleep together.

She asks about Gail. I close my eyes, and feel her arms wrap around me again. I know Gail is not going to be okay with any of this, so there's no point in even trying to explain. I love Gail.

If its meant to be, it will be. Right now, keeping Ana alive and finding Christian are the only things I care about.

Ana reaches up and pulls a pair of Christian's sweat pants down. I look down at my boxers and know she's right. She urges me to take a shower while she dries her hair and does her make up. She was supposed to meet with Ros today. Scratch that. I grab the sweats and jump in the shower. I go commando and pull on the sweats. Christian has nothing I can borrow that will fit over my broad shoulders. We walk to the door and stop. She puts her little hand in mine, and for a moment I wish she were my daughter. We decide we will not answer any questions. I bring the knife. If asked, I will say Ana needed a knife to cut off a price tag. She grabbed the first one she saw without thinking.

I open the door and let her out first. Sawyer is standing right outside her room, facing the door, looking grim and disgusted. He nods to the Great Room. I wonder who is there. Welch, you, Doc, and Gail.

I pause, remembering everything that happened, especially what was said to me and what I said back. I remember but I don't understand because it really wasn't anybody's fucking business what went on in that bedroom. I know my conscious is clear. We did nothing wrong. She slept. I got the knife away. We made promises to each other.

I let out another, long, weary sigh. My shoulder is starting to throb. I make sure i don't look at Christian.

"That is basically it. We slept together so she could sleep.I didn't always stay all night. Sometimes I left as soon as she fell asleep. She pretended it was you in bed with her. After the first night, I made sure she wore panties to bed. There was never a sexual relationship of any kind between us. I don't care what people tell you, what they think they saw. It was always innocent between the two if us. I never touched her unless it was a kiss to the top of her head or her nose. Now if someone could take me back to my room, I'd really appreciate it. "

Christian is dead silent. I don't dare look up. Flynn rises quickly, opens the door and thanks me very much while handing me over to Sawyer.

I hear a crash coming from the study and then the sound of breaking glass. At least it isn't me bouncing off the wall.


End file.
